Jun 16, 2011

Let's Hear It For The Boys


Dress: Thrifted     Belt: Thrifted   Shoes: Aero

When me and Matt were dating we used to joke about each other's x's. I knew he loved tattoo'd troubled girls and he knew I loved me some jocks. After all our x's have gone through, I figured that the least I could do was to give them a proper tribute.

A Proper Tribute to the X-men (get it?) of my life.

Dear face maker: I started dating you because I was so completely utterly rebounding from another guy. While our adventures were fun (and I'll never forget the time you gave me a potato as a present and then your friend ate it...raw) all quirky funny things must come to an end right? 

Dear Mr. Whisper: You REALLY liked to whisper things in my ear and then breathe really hard and I'm still trying to figure out for the life of me why you did it....why?????

Dear Poopy: You are the only one that I have no problem with calling...a poopy head. Because you completely had me fooled. I shall not give a tribute to you but rather hawk a spit wad over my shoulder and say good riddance. You used me....and you were good at it...oh and I hate your dumb motorcycle.

Dear V: You impressed me by eating a piece of meat off of the ground....you were my very best friend.

Dear Donut Glaze: You were my very first childhood kiss and first crush. I have no idea where you are now but thanks for giving my little elementary girl self the heart pangs.

Dear crazy hair: I dated you in middle school and we were so immature that we never even spoke to each other while we were dating...and then you broke up with me. Touche.

Please oh please won't you give a tribute to one of your X's in the comment section!?
 

34 comments :

  1. I would, but I'm not nearly as eloquent as you are. That and the fact that I'm too lazy to come up with something right now. :) Points for honesty?

    What I will tell you is that I LOVE your dress! And that you belted it in brown! You look smashing!!! {First time ever using the word smashing, more points for that?}

    Come take a look inside A Working Mom's Closet

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  2. Hilarious! Here's my xmen tribute:

    Dear Churchboy,
    We met in church at 12 years old - you were my first boyfriend and first kiss...but now you're a flamboyant homosexual. The Steve Urkle in me asks, "Did I do that?"

    Dear Shady Greek boy,
    We were between the sheet buddies for a few years through college - you had it going on in the pants but lets be real, you're a complete dork! Onward and upward. Adios!

    Dear Meatball,
    Isn't it funny how things work out? I wanted to be with you all through college, and you didn't want a girlfriend. Come graduation, the tables turned when I dated someone and you couldn't bear it - why did you feel the need to defriend me from Facebook though?? Anyway, glad we're friends again and I hope it stays that way!

    Dear Long Island Law,
    You were great on paper, but you were a DEBBIE DOWNER! Sorry for breaking your heart, but go depress someone else!

    Dear Bad Fit,
    Broke your heart too, but glad I did it! You played the sweetheart but showed your true colors with nasty words and ruined what could have been an amicable parting of ways. Some delusion makes you think YOURE the best I could do...HA YEA RIGHT. Get over yourself. GOOD RIDDANCE.

    Wow, that felt really good!!!!!

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  3. This made my morning.

    And I'm totally drooling over your colorful striped perfection. I'm sad that it's thrifted because that means I can't go buy it. But it's also awesome that it's thrifted. Basically what I'm saying here is, you rock.


    My most memorable X-man told me I broke up with him because the demons thought I was getting too close to him. True Story. The happy part is, his craziness caused me to come running back to my true love. It all works out. So, crazy x-man, thanks for that. lol!

    The Whimsy Factory

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  4. Mine would be: Dear X thanks for allowing me to believe that we really had something, don't worry I'm far happier than I was with you.


    This is a good post, I like it!

    Nice dress
    Martha Xx

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  5. That dress is smashing! Hulk status! haha jk!

    Dear mr wanna-be Will Smith: We met in speech class and you gave me many chuckles and smiles. Then you dumped me because I was too young for you. Thanks for making me pray to God that he would send me someone worthy of my time. Those 3 years I was single before I met the love of my life wouldn't have been possible had we not went our seperate ways!

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  6. girl, you are SO hot!!! seriously!

    ~selina

    ps can't wait to meet ya in person!

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  7. I am just LOVING EVERYTHING you are wearing lately ... I mean wow.
    you rock!... and you're beautiful.
    sisters4saymoreismore.blogspot.com

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  8. This is great :)

    Dear Nasal Voice,
    You were a lot cuter in pictures. You were a fun guy, but a little too into your music and yourself. Thanks for the song you wrote me, and thanks for the other two songs you wrote to ask me on dates. My husband and I like to give them a listen for a good laugh.

    (I think I might steal this idea for a future blog post)

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  9. Oh my goodness I WANT YOUR DRESS!!!

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  10. i absolutely love this!

    i would write mine but i think they would be too mean to post...

    bahaha :)

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  11. I only have one and a half exes (the "half" was a guy I never introduced to my parents because I was afraid I'd be disowned. Hahaha!)

    So, let's call him Dreamer and Punk.

    Dreamer - I couldn't get in the way of your dreams. You couldn't get in the way of mine. Your own wife, the sweet girl you left me for, couldn't get in the way of your dreams. Now you're divorced and I'm glad I never married you. We had a great time and I grew spiritually a lot thanks to having you in my life before, while and after you were on your mission.

    Punk - You cheated on me. But it's alright, I forgive you; you cheated on me because I didn't want to compromise my values and because I would not want to be seen in public with you (LOL, I know, I'm evil!). You should have got rid of the chains, the beard and the long hair, darling. But you were a sweet guy with the wrong looks and I wish we had remained friends.

    That's it. This is super cool! I'm reading all the other girls' tributes!

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  12. dear jail bait:

    you should have told me how old you were before my 20 year old lips touched your 16 year old mouth.

    ...ya that happened...

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  13. That dress looks amazing on you!!! I'm jealous!!

    I'll refrain from writing a tribute to my ex, he doesn't deserve it!!

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  14. instantly in love with your dress. the day you decide you hate it [which i realize is highy unlikely] i beg you to send it my way.

    dear 15 minute boyfriend: thanks for dating me in middle school. sorry i broke your heart after a total of 15 short minutes. okay so maybe i'm exaggerating right now. thanks for dating me for a total of one class period. it rocked.

    and that is the end of my x-list. one that i don't even count as a real boyfriend.

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  15. You look so pretty in this dress! It's stunning! As for my tribute...


    Dear shorty. You are dreadfully short, but that is not why I broke up with you. I broke up with you (if we were ever even dating) because you gave me a ring and a key to your apartment on the second date. This scared the bajeebers out of me. You are a sweetheart, but you need to come on less strong for the next girl.

    Sincerely,

    Tall girl

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  16. Dear Red: I wish things had worked out different. Maybe it wasn't the right time. I'm glad you are still one of my closest friends.

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  17. If you ever decide that you don't need that dress anymore, feel free to send it my way. WANT.

    Jenn

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  18. here's one for you

    Dear Papa: first you made me laugh, and that was good. then you gave me anxiety and i thought it was good. then you made me cry and i knew it wasn't good anymore.

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  19. okay that sounded like it was to a father figure, it wasn't. his nickname is papa for a reason (he worked at papa murphy's, promise). i'm not a creeper :)

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  20. this is such a lovely dress... you look like candy :)
    http://urbanprettygirl.blogspot.com/

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  21. that dress is stunning on you!

    <3 steffy
    Steffys Pros and Cons

    35% off in my store with the code:iloveyou !!
    my store

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  22. I wasn't going to leave anything but I read everyone elses tributes, and at first thought "I don't really have any exes" but I realized I do, I just don't consider them exes because they were so lame! Go figure.

    Dear Man Hands: We dated for a couple of weeks but I seriously can't remember saying more than 30 words to you. We held hands between class and at lunch even. Talk about weird.

    Dear Perv: We only dated for 10 minutes. You had your friends ask me out before recess and I said yes. Then my friends convinced me you were a dork, and well, I give in to peer pressure. Sorry.

    Dear Jack Johnson lover: It was fun while it lasted but you and I both knew it wasn't going anywhere, I already was waiting for my missionary. Now I've been married for 3 1/2 years and have 1.5 kids. Sorry sucker!

    Dear all of my one-time dates in high school: Thanks for the free meal! I see you still haven't gotten anywhere in life except jail, the bar, and your mom's basement. Have fun with that. I will enjoy my life with my fighter pilot husband and travel the world. Have fun looking at my pictures on Facebook!

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  23. Dear dumb face: When you asked if I'd want to know if someone ripped my stuffed monkey but fixed it so I couldn't tell, I KNEW you had cheated on me.

    Dear Teaching Assistant: You were way cuter before you experimented with drugs.

    Dear Doctor Fellow: You weren't excited to go to the Exploratorium with me thus I wasn't excited to go anywhere with you.

    Dear Drama King: Every time you were upset, you cut something dramatically out of your life until one day it was me. Thank you.

    Dear Former Best Friend: I'm so sorry I rebounded on you.

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  24. Hi! My name is Danielle and I am one of your followers. I have a little bloggy called Blissful and Domestic and I am currently looking for guest bloggers. I was wondering if you would be interested. Let me know. I think it would be really fun!

    -Danielle
    BlissfulandDomestic.blogspot.com

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  25. Dear Poof! I'm glad you only wasted three months of my time. Hope you're enjoying the space you need. But isn't it uncomfortable when we run into one another wordlessly at 7-11? And the park? And at stop lights?

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  26. Dear Collector: You were never the same after the loss. I know it's not your fault, but I just had to move on.

    Dear Ford: You were my best friend, but I wanted a relationship. You only wanted benefits. I really miss hanging out.

    Dear Mr. Brown: I always felt so bad about myself around you, as if you were better than me. I'm glad I realized, you aren't.

    Dear Metal: The only good thing about you was in your pants.

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  27. Dear 2 weeks: I dated you freshman year. You were weird, and I didn't even really like you. We dated for two whole weeks, and you said you loved me. That's when I hightailed it.

    Dear first love: You knew all the right things to say. I didn't. You fell in love with another girl while we were dating, got married, and I'm so happy for you two.

    Dear Cheater: You don't even deserve an explanation. If I know one thing it's your lies catch up to you sooner or later. I'm so glad that I didn't feed into all of your lies.

    Dear Hipster: You thought you were complicated, and too cool for everything. We barely talked, or saw each other. We broke up over a MySpace message. Thanks for bringing me to an awesome concert though.

    I have been with the love of my life for the past 5 years, and it feels amazing. The only good thing that came out of dating the cheater was meeting his amazing friend. We reconnected years later, and have been inseparable ever since. He is my rock, and surprises me with his unconditional love.

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  28. haha! i loove this!!! hmmm...

    dear summer lovin,
    i spent our whole 2 weeks trying construct cute nicknames for you. unfortunately, you broke it off for us before i came up with a good one. while you fell in love with another chic while we were together, i will always cherish our "friendship"...douche :) (yeah, i finally came up with your nickname)

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  29. Dear Wrestler - You made me weak at the knees. I thought you were sooo hot but, damn...you had issues. I don't like boys who cry on me.

    Dear Nerd Boy- You had game for a geek but you're cocky attitude didn't get you very far. I will always remember the day you came crawling back to me after breaking my heart. The image of you begging is enough to carry me through.

    Dear Tall Boy- You choose pot over me. Enough said.

    Dear Tall Boy (again)- You fooled me twice. I'll never forgive you for that.

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  30. Dear Luau:

    Sorry that we thought we were going to get married even though we started dating when we were 15. Sorry that it took till we were 17 to end it. Sorry for the fact that we only saw eachother once during those on and off two years.
    And sorry that you ended up being an emotionally abusive jerk who is still madly in love with me. SUCKS doesn't it? Oh, also sorry you were nice enough to break up with me by ending our relationship on facebook. Lovely way to find out. Brat.

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  31. Dear Prince Alarming,
    I should've known when you whisked me away to Disney after not even dating me for a month that the fairytale would be over prematurely. I hope you think fondly of me on July 7th next summer. Remember the sunflowers? Be there. You're lack of loyalty set me free, and you made me look like a fool, but like a phoenix, I've risen from the ashes. And thanks to you, I don't trust everyone anymore.
    Sincerely,
    The One You Let Go

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  32. I liked this post so much, I thought I'd add to it... Hopefully mine won't be as bitter as some of the others - Yikes!

    Dear Spud: You were such a sweetheart and would always write me cheesy love poems. Too bad you suffered from debilitating migraines and may or may not have robbed a store during one. I wish I would've kissed you, just for the experience, but really I was always looking for something better. No woman wants to do all the work. P.S. Your mom may have you fooled, but she DID in fact hate me.

    Dear Chubb: I should've walked away when I found out about the porn. We were great as friends, but when together you just wanted to snog. Thanks for teaching me what to avoid. And even though you say I broke your heart, I could say you wasted my time. P.S. I don't know what I saw in you - you are NOT pretty.

    Dear Leaner: You were madly in love with me for years. Or so you said (both to me and my best friend). I'd like to think in the end you'd choose me, but sorry - I wouldn't choose you. Thanks for the lovely dates you took me on. I'll never forget how good you were to me.

    Dear JB/MJ: I love that you stole my number from your best friend and dated me behind his back. Ours was a secret love, and I enjoyed every minute of it! I wish I would've kissed you when we were in AZ together... And I wish you could've been there for me when I needed you. Things might have been different, but it's for the best.

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