Jul 21, 2011

How to lose some friends....in a hilarious manner


Dress: Swapped    Shirt: Target   Undershirt: TJ Maxx     Necklace: Ebay        Hat: Hawaii    Sunnies: Thrifted

You remember that barbie-que (I refuse to spell it right) that me and Sir Matt went to the other night. I regret to inform you that we have probably forfeited any chance of being able to be "the cool couple". I know I know...Matt's hopes and dreams are crushed. 

The setting: Three couples all stuffed with burgers, fried avocado's (are the food of the God's) and sweet potato fries are sitting around the table exchanging stories.

For some random reason we all got on the subject of bathrooms.

Advice 1: When trying to be the cool couple tread lightly and be careful with jokes that involve bathrooms, bodily functions, and things that happen in da bedroom.

So we're on the subject of bathrooms and Matt starts to talk about how he was trapped in the ladies bathroom (why he was there in the first place we'll never know) once with a bunch of menopausal women talking about the "changes" they were going through. He hid in the stall and put his feet up on the toilet so no one could tell he was there but then after twenty minutes of chit chat and not biz-ness he ended up giving up and walking through the crowd of women with his head down.

Whew...we got through one topic that could have gone disastrous. Matt was funny without being....strangely funny.

Advice 2: Always share funny stories that happen to you BUT ONLY if it ends with you getting embarrassed. Then everyone will feel like they are cool.

So then we moved on to the topic of locker rooms in gyms.

Advice 3: Locker rooms are a touchy subject because a) they involve nakedness b) sometimes they involve strangers doing nakedness things c) sometimes they involve you being caught in nakedness situations. Sometimes these nakedness things can be funny....and sometimes they are just weird. You can gamble with locker room stories but beware, you may be friendless by the end of the night.

So as everyone is talking about weird locker room experiences Matt busts out with this Sha Blam.

"Man,  it's totally normal for guys to be naked around each other. Me and my high school band always had band practice naked."

----------------------DEAD SILENCE-----------------------

Followed by

------------------------------TEAR ROLLING LAUGHTER--------------------------------

---POLITE GUEST BEGINS TO TALK ABOUT HER FUNNY STORY TO DISTRACT FROM PREVIOUS AWKWARDNESS----

And that my friends is how we were dethroned from being the cool couple and lost our friends.

Remember this post where Matt said he wanted to be set free in a nudist colony? I'm a little scared now that he wasn't joking.

*Oh also. After a lot of soul searching and nail biting about such a serious matter....I finally have a twitter account. Here's a link to my profile if you want to follow me, I promise to give you little nuggets of fun and chuckles...probably...I'm not promising anything.  My name is @fromsarahsleeve. There you have it friends. I am a twit...er.

10 comments :

  1. that is hilarious! You guys can come hang out with us, my boyfriend always says or has the most random stories lol

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  2. I love the hat
    http://urbanprettygirl.blogspot.com/

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  3. I love it! and your hat rocks:>

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  4. LOL, that convo makes me want to gain you guys as friends. It would make very interesting a get together.
    Also you're wearing a gorgeous dress.

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  5. HAHAHA!!! That is hilarious. That is exactly how my husband is, he has no restraint!

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  6. Oh. Wow. I never knew!! I hope he realized that it is NOT normal!

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  7. Never confess to your coworkers how often you wash your sheets*


    *if it's only once a year.




    Never confess to a blogland stranger how often you wash your sheets in their comments section.**


    **If it's only once a year.

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  8. Rachael: Never confess to your blog readers how little you wash your own sheets...I'm talking little. Oh and also never eat chicken heart, I had it at a restaurant and it's all chewy. Just sayin.
    Rachael (my sis!): I had no idea about it either but apparently Matt thinks it's totally normal. We had a little chat about things we say in front of our friends and things...we keep with us until we go into the grave ha ha.

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  9. Well, I guess we know to always knock when we come over to your house. haha, so funny! we loved that night, Matt is too funny. I'm on twitter too! I was REALLY reluctant too, but I'm on and I just follow all the people from the bachelor. I... have a problem.

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  10. Love this outfit, and your hilarious posts! Welcome to twitter.

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