Sep 22, 2011

On Weight Loss and Beauty


I was not going to talk about this. Really, I didn't want to speak a word of this on my blog. It's one topic that makes me cringe because if not talked about just right it can be taken the wrong way and do more harm than good. Just know that I have the best intentions in writing this post. Now that I have thrown that out there, I really feel that something needs to be said.

I kept receiving numerous comments from readers over the past year. They would all go something like this.

"Good for you for having a fashion blog even though you don't have the typical perfect body. Keep up the good work!"

All of these comments were written with the best of intentions, I know this, yet they were written with a specific underlying theme. The theme that if you weren't a certain size you weren't as pretty and desirable as  other smaller girls, somehow it made me feel like I was worth less than other people.

All the while, when these comments started to become more frequent I began training for a triathalon. I did not decide to do a triathalon to lose weight, it was simply something that me and my sisters decided would be fun to do together. My triathalon training required that I work my body very hard every.single.day. I was determined to meet my goal. To do something I'd never done before. And because of my rigorous training I began to slowly lose weight.

Once again I began to receive comments.

"Have you been losing weight, you look so good!!!!"

 These comments were nothing but the sweetest of compliments, and I'm still so grateful for all the encouragement and compliments from all of you sweet girls. But once again. in my twisted mind, all I heard was that my beauty was found in a number. In a waist measurement. That my worth came from what size I was. That I was only beautiful if I was skinnier.

The fact of the matter is that I've always had an athletic build. I've never been the typical skinny girl and for years it killed me. I was never content with how my body looked. I hated my body. I looked at it as if it was a plague. How terrible is that, I hated the most beautiful gift that God has given me.

And then the one time in my life that I wanted to accomplish something just....because, having nothing to do with wanting to change my appearance, here was this issue of my body confronting me once again.

 I'm going to be honest. I still struggle with accepting myself as I am. And I have a long way to go before I reach that point.

But for others out there that might be struggling with the same thing as me, I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are beautiful! And no matter how you might feel about your body right now, remember that you are you unique and beautiful because of what you bring to this world, not because of how your body looks in clothes, or whether you can see light between your thighs, or how big your waist is. You're beautiful because you're you!

Love always,
Sarah

52 comments :

  1. Thank you! I think everyone struggles with their body/looks no matter what they look like! And it's really not about numbers or what you "SHOULD" look like. I'm so glad you posted this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, girl. It's a touchy subject, and your honesty is refreshing. You fashion bloggers are all so brave. If I took pictures of myself every day, I'd scrutinize myself too much. Not to mention the scrutiny from other people. As much as I love clothes, I'm not brave enough for it.

    I think you are beautiful because you smile with a unique and shining vitality. Period.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank You! You are a great inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know how you feel! Anyways, I love your blog and your alterations are my favorite! Very inspiring! :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are so right! I have never looked at your posts and even had a thought about your size...I don't really get why people would. You just look like...you. Why compare, right? Anyway, this is a great post and I love how honest you are.

    Over the past year I've slowly started to accept myself the way I am. I haven't lost any weight, but I've been a member of a gym...and being active has helped me be more positive about the shape that God made me. It's obviously going to stay this way, so I just embrace it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. i just love you. and am grateful to know you. you freakin rock

    ReplyDelete
  7. right!!!!i was so thin but still im doing everything to gain weight...i agree, as in super, that no matter how i look, im beautiful...hehe...thank u so much for the encouragement sarah..lovelots..

    ReplyDelete
  8. well said....I had a dear friend in highschool that lost forty pounds while we were teenagers. I complimented her a lot on her "new look" and wanted to emulate her. Years later she told me she was seriously bulemic.....I felt so horrible for probably making her problems worse....you are right that o person's body is a gift and we should treat our bodies with respect

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for posting this, it made my day. On a day I was feeling pretty down about myself and how I look...I Thank you. It's what I bring to the world...not what I look like. I think I'll look up today instead of down.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sarah, thank you for posting this. It's refreshing how honest you are, and you were beautiful before, and you're beautiful now.

    ReplyDelete
  11. FIrst of, I think you are stunning. This post came at the right time and I feel was something I had to read. I struggle with this everyday, even today I got the "you look like you filled out a little" I am 5'4 and weigh 135 pounds, I struggle everyday with this and you just helped me see I am fine the way I am no matter what people thing. I will always struggle with it, but My eyes are opened a little more. For that I thank you. -Sara

    ReplyDelete
  12. Loved this post girl! Serious I am so there with ya and it was great to hear that there are people out there who think the same as I do! Loves!

    ReplyDelete
  13. such a lovely, honest post. we are all faced with such ambiguity and difficulties to do with body shape; what we think, what society thinks, what we really think deep down...it's hard. i'm still learning too, but it's always refreshing to know its not just me :-)
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I just ¨met¨ you last week in blogger land, and already I like you so much. In fact I put a link to your blog in my own blog post yesterday at http://inreallifewithjamiejo.blogspot.com

    This is a wonderful post for my readers to get to know you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Weight is definitely a big struggle for many women, given a variety of reasons that don't need to be delved into. I think it's great that your body is a result of healthy goals (wanting to do a triathalon). I find that I look the best on the outside when my inner self is healthiest, i.e. I take care of myself when I care about myself. Otherwise dieting, exercising and the likes can be very frustrating and damaging. And awesome on the triathalon. That is INTENSE! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I definitely agree with you. I've been chubs all my life and been teased because of it. Made growing up difficult to say the least. I think people should stop putting so much emphasis on what size everyone is and maybe there wouldn't be so many people who feel the need to become bulimic or anorexic. At least, that is my opinion on the subject. Personally I know that I need to get into shape, but getting into shape and trying to become a size 0 are two very different things. You are beautiful! Congrats on the triathalon! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. After reading this post all I can say is you BETTER come to the Utah blogger meet up! :) Thank you for writing this. It's definitely something I needed to read.

    ReplyDelete
  18. PREACH IT! Even though I'm a skinny minnie and petite, I still have my issues. You DO look fabulous now and you looked fabulous before! I wish wish wish I had you volump (not a word, but hopefully you get that haha). Anyway, you said this beautifully!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Beautiful post!! YOU are beautiful!
    Love, Leigh

    ReplyDelete
  20. Perfectly and beautifully written. I'm so happy to have found your blog sarah! It is lovely to meet you:)

    ReplyDelete
  21. P.s. Can you give me a thrifting lesson? You find the best and cutest things! I also need to learn how to revive thrifted finds. I love how you have added cute peter pan collars and neckties to your dresses!

    absolutely IN LOVE with your style:) Hope to see you at the blogger meet up!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I completely agree. Someone even sent me a link for plus sized fashion bloggers. I was like are you kidding me?!? But honestly I'm glad I'm not stick skinny because I want to be an example for other girls that you don't have to be rail thin to be beautiful.. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ok, usually I laugh my face off at your posts. Usually I admire your sewing skills and great fashion. Now I am totally LOVING this post. In fact, I wrote a very similar one the other day (Models vs. Real People). I find it encouraging that most of the style blogs I read are made by real women of all sizes, ethnicities, budgets and styles. That's what I love most of all. Your blog is def one of my favorites. I hope you keep it up and know how beautiful YOU are!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You are gorgeous.

    Beauty doesn't have to be about looks anyways. It's more about personality because that will remain forever =)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I started on an eating program myself a few months ago, but not because I'm getting married (and EVERYONE keeps saying that, that is my only reason). I started it because I began to feel a lot of aches on my body, I couldn't do a lot of the things I used to be able to. I couldn't bend down properly to tie my shoe laces, I couldn't walk long distances without being overcome with fatigue. I got sick a lot because of all the bad things I was eating. Plus, I didn't want to start a family at the size I was in cause I knew I was only going to get bigger if I let myself go. Which would mean I wouldn't be able to run around with my dog, or o on trips with my fiance and do other activities with the family I want to build.

    Yeah, it wasn't about how I looked in clothes, although having a blog about fashion and what we wear is really all about photoshoots and you modeling your clothes. But it was how I felt, health-wise, and how I am actually able to do little things that I wasn't able to do before.

    I love this post because I could totally relate to it, (like a bunch of your posts) and I totally agree with this one 100%. It's not about being skinny, it's how you feel about yourself and your little goals and what makes you happy, that's what beautiful looks like.

    And you Ms. Sarah should never let that silly voice in your head say things like that. She's crazy! :D

    ReplyDelete
  26. i wish there could be a body awareness blogging month, and we could all post about this. because it needs to be said over and over and over again until every person in the world hears it! the post is beautiful, thank you.

    best,
    nicole

    http://colacolaisland.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thank you

    Rachel

    A Little Bit of Ray

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yep, you seriously grabbed every word out of my mouth. Im quite short - 5' and am curvy. I feel good about my body, and I do have my negative moments. I hate those moments where I think of myself as not good enough because I'm not thinner. I tell myself I would look 'that much better' if I were thinner. I think everyone wishes for a better image. Thank you for your message. You are so beautiful! ...with amazing talent too.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Well put! I love how everyone is trying to comment on this post and say how unimportant body size is...and yet they make a point of saying what size they are! Who gives a monkey's?!! Seriously. If I think someone looks great, I'll tell them...but I would NEVER add, "have you lost weight?" I think that's so rude! Although I know a lot of people who do just that - my mum springs to mind. I think people who worry about their own weight all the time are more likely to notice fluctuations in other people's.

    I like your blog because you are funny and creative. I couldn't care less what you weigh, and I'm sure your loving husband doesn't either, so don't let these children's petty comments get you down.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Thank you for this post, personally I always thought that you have a great size and shape and quite honestly the fact that you completed a triathlon is very inspiring to me because it is one of my life goals to complete one. Stay who you are, stay beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is beautiful. You are beautiful. Numbers don't matter, but your gorgeous smile does! You are an inspiration and you are perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank you. This was exactly what I needed to hear today! Also, I saw you on campus yesterday whizzing past on your bike- LOVE your dress!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thanks for your wonderful post :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. what a lovely and inspiring post. you're beautiful no matter what weight youre at, just because youre YOU!

    <3 steffy
    http://steffysprosandcons.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. It would be a lie to say I didn't notice your weight loss, but you were gorgeous before and you're gorgeous now!

    Body acceptance is such a tough thing and I think the best thing I've heard on it is that you can accept your body AND strive for more. The fact that you trained for and completed a triathalon is a huge accomplishment! I would been out before hitting the water (especially if I had to wear a wet suit)! So kudos to you Miss Sarah.

    Ultimately, I think you are so beautiful and funny and stylish and creative and married to a handsome devil. I follow you because you make me smile and I'm always in aww of your revivals and style. I don't know if you ever have bad days because your always have a smile on your face and that's something I would like to work towards.

    At the end of the day, your weight loss only matters because the items in your shop are now too small for me ;)

    ReplyDelete
  36. beautiful post sarah, couldn't have said it better myself. I think this is one of the issues with the blog world...its easy to look at a blog and think "this person is living the life! They got it all together!" when EVERYONE has struggles and issues. You are beautiful no matter what!

    ReplyDelete
  37. So I was reading this and thought "huh. she lost weight? how did I miss this?" then I had to go peep old photos in the archive. so I didn't notice a difference now or then... i'm not sure what that says about me.

    I know people are more critical of themselves no matter what. I also know that people say something and mean it to be a compliment and it is interpreted like a compliment and something else that has you wondering.

    You look amazing no matter what. (well maybe if you shave your head you wouldn't :) hehe)

    have a happy day.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Love. I did a blog post all about you and this post. Thanks,

    ReplyDelete
  39. It makes me so mad when people post things like, "Even though you don't have the perfect body..."etc. It strikes me as passive-aggressive and it's completely unnecessary.
    I follow a variety of fashion blogs; some are ran by plus-size women and some are ran by thin women. I NEVER comment on these women's size; it's about the clothes and how they wear them/how they fit.

    Moving on, I wish you the best in your self-acceptance journey and I hope people will be more thoughtful when they comment on future blog posts and in their interactions with people.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thanks so much for this blog post, Sarah. I really appreciated it for a lot of reasons, but for one, I love your blog and think that you are fun and interesting and beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I was actually just wondering how your dresses are a size 8 because you don't look it at all! &I so want one of your dresses, but I'd be about a size 6 or 4 I'm not to sure about dresses. But your gorgeous, &I'm so jealous of your acceptance of yourself. I'm getting there slowly but surely!

    ReplyDelete
  42. This was wonderfully written! I agree completely and think that no matter what everyone is beautiful in their own way! Everyone brings something unique to the world! I think you are just darling and I love your style! (Oh and I heard you are coming to the blogger party :) So that will be fun to meet you! I'm helping throwing it with Gentri & Kelsey) Have a good day!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Well said doll! I to believe that all women are beautiful. I say it all the time. I say it when people I know make snarky remarks about how someone looks or dresses. We're all beautiful. Think "the little princess" We're all princesses!! Except I'm not a fan of princesses... so... "were all beautiful!!" - A little late, sorry

    ReplyDelete
  44. Three months ago, before I started my treatments at the Beauty perfect body and weight loss, I thought I would never lose weight. But now that I have seen results, I am very happy that I achieved my goal.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm glad you decided to post this! Beauty is not limited to a size or shape or color and with all the negative affirmations women are presented with, it's always nice to read a positive one! Now where did I go wrong? I was training for the same triathalon and I've gained over 20 lbs while you lost?? haha ;) Love you Sarah and I think you're beautiful from the inside out.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I came across your blog yesterday and have been strolling through, looking at everything. this has been the best post so far. you are beautiful, inside and out. you so very eloquently spoke the truth that many people can't accept: beauty and fashion have nothing to do with your size. <3

    ReplyDelete
  47. Omg you are absolutely stunning, end of story, love your blog, love how you look, I wish I looked like you !!!

    ReplyDelete