Jul 29, 2011

What the What??



Shirt: Anthropologie ($10!)        Jeans: Vigoss         Flats: Target ($4!)

I was in a hurry to get to work this morning. I mean aren't we all. I don't know a soul that lounges around in their jammies thinking, what ever will I do with this extra hour before I go to work. Perhaps write a sonnet...or choreograph that lyrical dance I've had floating around in my head. No no, we are always late. Late late late. So I was trying to fit in the last of my routine, because the last of my routine is of the utmost importance as far as social acceptance is concerned. You know the hygenic mumbo jumbo (no one likes a stinky Sarah!). It goes.

1. Brush teeth
2. Wander around the house while I brush my teeth and make sure everything I need for the day is in my bag.
3. Wipe off that dang drip of toothpaste that got on my shirt while I was wondering around.
4. Deodorize myself.
5. Perfume...ize myself.
6. Put my shoes on...but not before wandering around the house to find out where I shed my shoe skins last night.
7. Fill up my water bottle and make a grand exit (usually my grand exit includes me bobbing to whatever is playing on my i-pod at the moment)

So I was in a frenzy, my hair was all greasy, because let's face it, the first thing to go when you're late is any effort whatsoever into your hair. I managed to find my shoes, I got deodorant all over my shirt while putting it on (but well these things happen and we must press forward!!!) I went and sprayed my perfume....

IN MY MOUTH.


What the what????
How could this possibly make sense to me?
Was I thinking it would be like tasting chapstick (somewhat frowned upon, but still secretly delicious tasting)?
Am I that scatterbrained???

I mean I was thinking about filling up my waterbottle at the time so maybe just maybe I forgot for a moment that it was perfume and well....not my water bottle.

Anyways, so I spent all day at work smacking my tongue to the roof of my mouth trying to get rid of  the taste of Viva La Juicy.
But to no avail.

Moral of the story? Perfume is not for eating...or something like that.

The end.

Jul 28, 2011

Life....according to my polaroids.

Apparently summer magic just can't get enough of me. Who would've thought right?
 
Eating frozen yogurt until my little heart was full of all the Oreos and happiness in the world

 Walking across campus and finding these free little hearts dancing in the trees.
 But boarding down the Provo canyon. I may have eaten about fifteen mosquitos and swallowed the west nile virus.
 Homemade freezer jam!
 Me and this chair were meant for each other.
 Best Philly cheese steak of.my.life.
 Me and Matt be all matchy matchy. Oh yes, we are that couple. So cute no?
Could there be a cooler man in this world (he had two weiner dogs in his side car), and yes that is a feather dangling from his cow boy hat.

Jul 27, 2011

The Brown Sac of Doom


Dress: Thrifted         Cardi: H&M            Shoes: Target ($4!)       Belt: Thrifted
 
Do you ever have a crappy day over the tiniest thing ever.
I my friends...am a chump.
I am sad to report that yesterday I.was.one.of.those.people.

The story really begins a few years back.
Me and Matt were making some tough decisions, I mean life altering. Interior design decisions.

We were at The Bed The Bath and The Beyond
The conversation went something like this.

Me "What kind of color scheme do you want our bedroom to have?"
Sir Matt: "I dunno...oh my gosh look how huge those martini glasses are. I've always wanted to have fancy glasses. Let's buy them!"
Me: "I like red,black and white!"
Sir Matt "I'd make pina coladas every day of my life if we had those glasses!" 
Me: "ooh I love this one! Simple and chic. Let's get this comforter!"
Sir Matt: "No that's girly, I don't want a girly bedroom."
Me: "But now you have a girl in your bedroom..."
Sir Matt: "I like this brown one...ooh and it's way cheaper than the one you like."
Me: "That's because it's uglier than mine...and frumpy."
Sir Matt: " Come on it's sixty percent off!"
Me: "And there is a reason for that...its poopy."
Sir Matt: "You can pick the dishes AND get the damask shower curtain if we can get this comforter. PLUS, it'll save us money."
Me: "Buuuhhhh this whole compromising in marriage thing is not fun....guuuhhhhh okay."

And since this dark and dreary day I have had the poopiest comforter of all comforters, and every day that I see that terrible thing I loathe it more each day. I've considered "accidentally" slipping on it and possibly ripping it...but that thing is ford tough. I once even "accidentally" dropped my breakfast burrito on it, but Matt was to frugal to let a burrito make him buy a new comforter

So I have been trying to convince Matt to let me get a new comforter (the simple and chic kind if you must know) and he agreed AS LONG AS it was not expensive, and by not expensive he's talking thirty bucks not expensive. Most people get shirts for 30 smackaroos people.

So I've been on a mission to find the perfect comforter for thirty bucks ever since (impossible right??)

So imagine my complete and utter glee when my friend texts me about a really nice, brand new, down comforter on Amazon that is 90% off and only $16. I 'bout imploded with joy. I ordered that thing as fast as I could and then relished in the thought of sleeping in  my fluffy, bright, simple comforter, you know something that doesn't look like a skid mark on a baby diaper.

And then an hour later I got an e-mail that the item was sold out and that Amazon let me buy an item that didn't exist. 

People.People. I about cried. I slumped over in sadness knowing that my days with my poopy blanket of doom had many days yet to taunt me in its ugliness.

And then I had a crappy day because of a dang comforter.

the end.

I'm about as pitiful as they come.

So before I get back in my thoughts of that blanket o' terror. Could you tell me something silly that you had a bad day over once? Maybe just to cheer me up? Tank you tank you.

Jul 22, 2011

I Shant Stop Wearing This Hat




Blouse: Thrifted       Sweater: H&M      Belt: Thrifted       Jeans: Vigossi      Hat: Hawaii      Shoes: Thrifted

So Matt said this to me today.
Sir Matt: "So I was eating a sandwhich today and I accidentally snorted a piece of turkey up my nose."

--------HYSTERICAL LAUGHING ON THE PART OF MUAH-------------

Sir Matt:"It's not funny, it really hurt, and my nose still hurts, I think there still might be a piece up there."

Sir Matt "Anyways, that's not even the worst part. So I set the piece of turkey that was in my nose down and put it on my plate and kept eating my sandwich, and then when I was done with my sandwich I realized that the turkey that was up my nose was gone. I'm pretty sure I ate it."

Tell me, how exactly would you respond to this because I was at a loss for words.

Oh and also Matt's hilarious friends took this picture
and well...how's that for spicing up your Friday?!

Jul 21, 2011

How to lose some friends....in a hilarious manner


Dress: Swapped    Shirt: Target   Undershirt: TJ Maxx     Necklace: Ebay        Hat: Hawaii    Sunnies: Thrifted

You remember that barbie-que (I refuse to spell it right) that me and Sir Matt went to the other night. I regret to inform you that we have probably forfeited any chance of being able to be "the cool couple". I know I know...Matt's hopes and dreams are crushed. 

The setting: Three couples all stuffed with burgers, fried avocado's (are the food of the God's) and sweet potato fries are sitting around the table exchanging stories.

For some random reason we all got on the subject of bathrooms.

Advice 1: When trying to be the cool couple tread lightly and be careful with jokes that involve bathrooms, bodily functions, and things that happen in da bedroom.

So we're on the subject of bathrooms and Matt starts to talk about how he was trapped in the ladies bathroom (why he was there in the first place we'll never know) once with a bunch of menopausal women talking about the "changes" they were going through. He hid in the stall and put his feet up on the toilet so no one could tell he was there but then after twenty minutes of chit chat and not biz-ness he ended up giving up and walking through the crowd of women with his head down.

Whew...we got through one topic that could have gone disastrous. Matt was funny without being....strangely funny.

Advice 2: Always share funny stories that happen to you BUT ONLY if it ends with you getting embarrassed. Then everyone will feel like they are cool.

So then we moved on to the topic of locker rooms in gyms.

Advice 3: Locker rooms are a touchy subject because a) they involve nakedness b) sometimes they involve strangers doing nakedness things c) sometimes they involve you being caught in nakedness situations. Sometimes these nakedness things can be funny....and sometimes they are just weird. You can gamble with locker room stories but beware, you may be friendless by the end of the night.

So as everyone is talking about weird locker room experiences Matt busts out with this Sha Blam.

"Man,  it's totally normal for guys to be naked around each other. Me and my high school band always had band practice naked."

----------------------DEAD SILENCE-----------------------

Followed by

------------------------------TEAR ROLLING LAUGHTER--------------------------------

---POLITE GUEST BEGINS TO TALK ABOUT HER FUNNY STORY TO DISTRACT FROM PREVIOUS AWKWARDNESS----

And that my friends is how we were dethroned from being the cool couple and lost our friends.

Remember this post where Matt said he wanted to be set free in a nudist colony? I'm a little scared now that he wasn't joking.

*Oh also. After a lot of soul searching and nail biting about such a serious matter....I finally have a twitter account. Here's a link to my profile if you want to follow me, I promise to give you little nuggets of fun and chuckles...probably...I'm not promising anything.  My name is @fromsarahsleeve. There you have it friends. I am a twit...er.

Jul 20, 2011

As of Late

Lately my life has had quite a bit of magic in it. Want to see?
 
I get to park next to upstanding citizens like these.

 Sir Matt's world is not only filled with dreams of snow cones....but there are real ones too!
Never ending piles of Twilight at the thrift store....come on we all knew this day was coming.
 I managed to organize one blasted thing in my apartment. Q-tip holder...check!
What could possibly be more magical than a mother duck leading her 'lil ones around campus all day. I think she was trying to convince them of the need for a higher education ...because one really can't start prepping for school too soon can they?

 I held a puppy. And it was unto a ball of cotton on a fluffy bed of hopes and dreams.
 I get to park my bike next to this stud every morning. It had a harry potter flag on the back of it. Need I explain why I choose to park by it every.single.day.?
 Mint green nail polish! And also, Matt is weird.
 A summer date night spent at squaw peak making fun of all the googly eyed couples and betting on if we would see someone get proposed to.
Eating J-Dawgs underneath the shade of this oh so courteous tree.

So you see, is magic not just filling the air this fine summer?
Tell me about some summer magic of yours won't you?

Jul 19, 2011

Hoodwinked


Trouser: c/o Lulu's    Shirt: Target    Necklace: F21 & Ebay    Watch: Charming Charlies     Shoes: Aero

Me and Matt were invited to a barbie-que (I like to keep you on your toes with my spelling). Now any other couple might have thrown together some peperoniitialiandressingpastasalad but me and Matt....we were determined to impress. So we both deemed homemade sweet potatoe fries and fry sauce as sufficient for our buds of taste.

Matt was in the kitchen chopping sweet potatoes when this little diddy went down.

Sir Matt: "Sweetie, today I was day dreaming about being the coolest couple on the block, and having way too many parties that we're invited to, like you know, they'll have to invite us in advance because they know we're so popular. They'll say, Matt & Sarah, won't you please come to our party."

Me (too wrapped up in watching the glee project to pay attention): Ahh I just can't wait for that tiny kid to go home already. He annoys me soooo much!

Sir Matt: "That's just the life of a star. One day you shine, and the next day you blow up. You know?"

Me (head jerking up from behind my lap top to see if he really just said what I think he said): "Sorry are we talking about the same thing."

Sir Matt: "Yes."

Me: "Well then....I think you're funny."

Sir Matt: "Well yeah, that's why I said it. Because I knew that the second it came out of my awesome mouth that it would be hilarious."

Me: "Okay you're not that funny."

----SWEET POTATOE FRY COMES LAUNCHING ACROSS THE ROOM AT RAPID RATE HEADED DIRECTLY TO  MY FACE-----

Sir Matt: "Watch it girl, you don't know who you're working with."
(and then like nothing ever happened he resumes to his sweet potato fry cutting)

So here's the thing. The sweet potato fries were unto a magestic chorus of angels...but while eating those tasty little devils it dawned on me. Matt has probably seen the conversations I'm writing on here. Is he feeding me good and juicy conversations just because he knows they'll make it on the 'ol blog and entertain all of you? I mean usually we do say ridiculous things to each other but I just can seem to keep up with all of the dumb stuff we say to each other lately.

So what do I do peeps? Call his bluff? Refuse to write another crazy conversation of ours? or just keep writing this stuff down? 
You make the call my friends.


Jul 18, 2011

Justa Shrimp

There are a few things in a person's life where they completely deserve unadulterated bragging rights. I mean rub it in your face, talk about it for a month, never let you forget what they went through bragging rights. 

1. You birth a child from your netherparts. I obviously am uneducated in this matter....but! I totally saw a pregnancy on video in my seventh grade science class and have cried myself to sleep every night since...so...I have a sure knowledge that moms deserve bragging rights.

2. You break your femur in half. I don't know, I just heard that it's the worst pain in the world from Brian Regan. And we all know that Brian Regan speaks the straight up truth, I mean out of the mouth of babes truth (okay if you don't know who Brian Regan is hastily repent and then go listen to him).

3. You were announced dead...only to come back to life a minute later. Yes, I really know someone that this happened to (Oh hey Rix, how you been?).

If you are listed in the above, please go brag to everyone you know about how awesome you are and then go get a stamp on your tough card (I hear if you get 10 stamps you can get a free Domino's pizza... probably.)

The thing is, when you are in conversation with these people, what do you say back when they tell you about this. 

Mr. Laz A. Rus "Oh no big deal...I came back to life after I was dead and stuff."
Da Shrimp "Man I know how that is, once I thought my hamster had died and come back to life, turns out he was just sleeping."

or maybe

Mr Tough "Yeah I just can't describe the pain when you break your femurs in half"
Da Shrimp "I'm sure it's like that time when I stepped on a nail in my backyard, by the way I cried, just so you know."

or just possibly

Mrs. Birthababy "You want to hear about a miracle, I was at deaths door...and then the baby crowned."
Da Shrimp "I love crowns. I got a crown when I played pretty princess with my sisters once."

Conclusion. There is no adequate response to these people. 
But good news. These things don't happen often, so you can usually count on not having to come up with awkward responses.

So imagine my chagrin (are you proud that I might have used that word correctly?? Are ya?) when I get a text from my main girl April that reads.

"So turns out I got bit by a black widow yesterday...all I know is that it was worse than labor."
Bam slam double whammy....worse than labor????

Alright April, bring on the bragging. You deserve it, just don't cringe at my responses. 
I've prepared a few just in case...you know because preparedness is next to godliness (or some weird saying like that).

April "Man can you believe I could have died from that had I not gone to the ER a second sooner."
Da Shrimp "I find it strange that we immediately assume ER is emergency room and not Elmo's Red."

Apriil "Yeah the pain was worse than labor...I didn't think there was anything worse than labor."
Da Shrimp "I know what you mean, I didn't think there was anything worse than that peanut butter jelly song and then Rebecca Black's Friday song got all famous."

So my friends, I'll make a deal with you. You write a comment about something that deserves to be bragged about and I'll write you my bestest most awkwardest response in all the land. Ready...go!

*oh also. There's a few new items in the shop. Go check them out, nothings over $15 in there so......incentive no?

Jul 15, 2011

Revival Files: About a bird...and my bizarre husband


Total Cost = $3.50

Me and Sir Matt's conversations have been pure gold lately.
Para exemple.

Sir Matt: "Did you see that bird at our house this morning."
Me:"Bird???"
Sir Matt: Yeah he was stuck in the window sill."
Me: "No I didn't even notice. I'll check to see if he's there when I get home from work."
Sir Matt: "Do you think we can keep him?"
Me: "Yesss! Let's nurse him back to health and make him a McCammon, do you think he would mind an Irish last name?"
Sir Matt: "No. Sweetie, he's just a caged little soul waiting to be set free, I can tell."
Sir Matt: "He's just like me. You know I'm a caged little soul too??"
Me: "Oh is that so. What do you need to be set free."
Sir Matt: "I need to be set free in....in....IN A NUDIST COLONY!"
Sir Matt: "Hey wouldn't that be fun to have a completely nude camp out sometime?"
Me: "I would really like to take a trip inside your mind and see how you get from one thought to the other."
Sir Matt: "Man that would be the best."
Sir Matt: "Anyways make sure our little bird friend is safe when you get home okay."
Me: "You are so weird. K bye."

Jul 14, 2011

A Conversation of Sevens and Elevens



Sir Matt: "Sweetie guess what today is?"
Me: "A day of love...for you and me?"
Sir Matt: "No.What? It's 7-11...you know what that means?"
Me: "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that we're going to 7-11."
Sir Matt: "Yeahhhhh IT'S FREE SLURPEEEEE DAYYYYY!!!" (slurpee's and snow cones are Matt's favorite thing on all the earth you see.)
Sir Matt: "So can we go?"
Me: "Yeah...but only if I can get one of those delicious donuts."
Sir Matt: "But that's not free."
Me: "Neither is my love. So I'll get a donut."
Sir Matt: "Do you know that on 7-11 that 7-11 makes more money than they usually do because so many people come on 7-11 and end up getting something OTHER than a free slurpee??? We CAN'T be those people. Not when slurpees are free!"
Me: "I've never heard 7-11 used so much in one conversation. Donut or bust I say!"
Sir Matt: "Eh okay I'll pick you up after work."


I mean are we romantics or what. There's no denying it right?!

Jul 13, 2011

Starry Night

It's nights like this that I don't want to forget.
So I'll write to remember.

He coaxed her out into the backyard with an ice cream cone.
He knew only chocolate could tempt her.
They laughed and flirted while eating their ice cream.
They looked up at the stars and wondered how the night sky could be so bright and dark all at the same time.
He told her she was beautiful.
She blushed and hid her face in the blankets.
They talked the night away about memories, memories of writing letters, memories of hoping he'd find her, memories of how it was meant to be.

And it was a good night.

Won't you tell me about a day that you always want to remember?

DIY Revival

Alright guys you asked for it. Now you can start to revive your own stuff! 
How cool is that? (just tell me it's cool okay.)

 I wanted to teach you guys a quick reviving technique that you can do without a machine! One of the things that makes the biggest change in the clothing that I fix is changing the length of it. Here's how to change the length and create a  hem by hand (can I get a whoop whoop for no machine needed!).
(hemming pics via)
1. Cut your dress to the desired length and then iron your hem under anywhere from 1/2" to 1"
2. Thread your needle, pin the hem in place, tie a knot at the end of the thread and bring your needle through the hem fabric at a side seam.
3. With your needle grab a small piece of the back fabric.
4. Then grab a small piece of the hem (the portion that's pinned).
5. Continue this same stitching all the way around the skirt
6. Then when you finish stitching all the way around the skirt. Tie a knot at the end of your thread and cut the thread. Then turn your skirt over and check out your beautiful hand sewed hem!
Something as simple as changing the length of the dress can completely change an old thrift store dress to a chic little numba! Enjoy guys!

I'd love to see any pics of some revival hemming if you have any!

Jul 12, 2011

The Sisterhood Strikes Again...

Remember this post where I suffered a bald spot all on account of the sisterhood.

Well I have finally come to the realization that the sisterhood has completely taken over my ability to make good choices.

 I regret to inform you that the sisterhood has struck again.
This time in the form of sisterhood watches!
AND sisterhood owl jewelry (oh but really who can resist a googly eyed owl, who I tell you???)
We tried to reason ourselves away from the jewelry, "the sisterhood will have no power over me!" I declared.
But alas the sisterhood was to much for me....and I gave in.
Don't blame us poor innocent sisters.The sisterhood made us do it!
(Believe it or not the blonde haired blue eyed fox next to us is none other than my mom, she has been accused of stealing little dark haired babies one too many times if you ask me)

I ask you this. Do your sisters make you do crazy things too. Well do they??

( I guest posted over at Ramseys and Modly Chic this week. If you have a minute go check it out!)