Apr 26, 2012

Foggy Windows and Humiliation

blouse: c/o OASAP (buy it here) skirt: Nordstrom   headband: handmade   shoes: Call It Spring


I have been scarred. I’m talking remain mute and twitch every three seconds scarred. Can we have a little blog therapy time? You can just nod and let your eyes glaze over if you want, but this story is entertaining as heck so you may want to stay alive, alert and aaaaaaafixiated (sorry I just wanted to have three A words in there)…. Anyways (hey there’s a fourth!). So this one time in middle school, I’m out for a late night jog. And I’m running in this gravely parking lot, the kind where all you can hear is that loud cccuuush sound that your feet are making as they grind against the gravel. I start to head toward the end of the parking lot where there is this car, it’s light blue, with rust creeping around the edges. But something doesn’t seem…normal. The two back car doors are open, and out of one side hang four little legs all intertwined and tangly, and there are certain…..noises…..occurring. So I did what any naïve fourteen year old would do, I booked it as fast as I could out of there before my eye balls turned into jello. I was lucky, it was a true miracle that I didn’t….see anything. So anyways, yesterday, I’m out with the Indian, and we’re walking past this parking lot. And the Indian, she books it over to this car on the far end of the lot. And she starts circling the car, circling and circling, all angsty and weird like. So I head towards her and yell, “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WEIRDO!!! COOOOMEEEERE! COOOOMEEERE!” and  then I see them, two people all tangly like....if you know what I'm saying. And they're completely frozen, like if they don’t move then they’ll just disappear into the upholstery of the car, and I realize that they totally think that I was yelling at them. All that I could think to do was grab Indie football quarterback style, and run away……oh so very far away and as I did I yelled, “ THIS IS SO AWKWARD! THIS IS SOOOOOO AWKWARD!” And then I went home and did an Ace Ventura style cleanse, scrubbed my eye balls with rubbing alcohol, gave Indie her first birds and bees talk. And then I died inside. The end. Can I get a little therapy up in here? What’s the most awkward thing YOU’VE ever experienced. This trauma victim could use a little laugh.

25 comments :

  1. Oh my word. That is NOT okay. At all.

    Actually something similar happened to me last Sunday: I was walking out of my room, to head down to the bathroom to rinse some dishes off and as soon as I stepped out into the hall I heard these...noises. And they were LOUD. I quickly shut the door and leaned against it trying to figure out how to become deaf for the next five minutes.

    My roommate was on her bed with headphones in and she looks at me and goes: "Was that what I thought it was?!" I said, "Yep. I feel like I should go to confession now." (I'm not Catholic.)

    Oh the joys of dorm life....

    By the way, your headband is adorable!

    xoxo,
    Laura
    http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

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  2. Hahaha! I bet they were more scared than you were.

    My most awkward moment? There are so many...there was that one time I had just given birth and the nurse was helping me to the bathroom. She threw my gown over my shoulder and lowered my underwear so I was basically standing there totally naked when the HOT, male anesthesiologist walked in to check up my recovery after my c-section. I wanted to die.

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  3. p.s. Love the outfit! Especially the headband!

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  4. Oh my goodness! This is the best story ever! I don't think I've experienced anything that can top that level of awkwardness.

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  5. Haa, thanks for sharing. Also, your outfit is perfection.

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  6. you poor thing! twice?! that is traumatic. Once when I was 13 and babysitting, the little girl asked her dad before he left when he was going to get me pregnant. Sooooooo humiliating, yet yours is worse. Why are people so weird?

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  7. LOVE that headband! You are gorgeous Sarah!

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  8. AWKWARD! My most awkward moment was right after my heart procedure. I was in the recovery room with my mom and boyfriend. A nurse walked in, said "Let's check those incisions," and whipped my hospital gown up past my hips, despite the fact that DUE TO THE INCISION PLACEMENT, I COULDN'T WEAR ANYTHING UNDER MY HOSPITAL GOWN, and she knew that. What an evil woman!

    Mom and the boyfriend froze and stared, and then he said, "I'm going to the cafeteria!" and RAN out of there. Oh, the shame! I wanted to die.

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  9. omg I had to do a double take on that one to make sure you actually were clothed. LOL I'm guessing that's the look you were going for...

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  10. that lace top is gorgeous!!

    xo,
    Steffy
    http://steffysprosandcons.blogspot.com

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  11. Oh my god that is hilarious but yes totally awkward!

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  12. Oh my gosh, you are hilarious! How totally traumatizing and hysterical at the same time!

    Lovely outfit, by the way! :)

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  13. ROFL!!!! Sad, but still hysterical. I miss you!!

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  14. Is it bad that as awkward as that is, it is equally hilarious? I dont know.
    Hmm awkward moments...um. I worked at a movie theater - from the projection booth I could see into the theaters. It was about 45 minutes before the movie and it was empty, but I heard rustling. So I looked down out of the port hole window to see two 'teens' - to use your word- tangled. I told a manger over the radio to walk into that theater and theyd know why. They brought a security guard because it was a busy night and you never know what you'll walk into. Needless to say, the security guard called there parents and waited with them in the parking lot until they got there. AWKWARD! Awkward for us who knew and probobly for their rides home. Just Awkward.

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  15. i can't believe this has happened to you TWICE! i make every moment of my life awkward. there's therapy for ya!

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  16. My latest post is about a very awkward moment I had last week, so hopefully that will help :) http://shtnewyorkersdo.blogspot.com/2012/04/claim-to-fame.html

    Also, when I was a sophomore in high school, I fell off the school bus. Yes, that's right, I fell down the steps while getting off the school bus. It was horrible! Hope you feel a little better now! Great post :)

    Jenny

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  17. bahaha great story. I love the connection between the young girl experience and the present experience. So similar and yet so different at the same time. :) Great.

    Kate
    myvanillawardrobe.blogspot.com

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  18. oh wow, that is awkward! poor you :(

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  19. This is hilarious girl. You should've knocked on their window saying all chipper 'I see you!" and really creeped them out.

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  20. YIKES. Was it daylight both times!? GEEEEEEEEZ!

    The Rich Style

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  21. This is absolutely gorgeous. For some reason it makes me think of a 1920s flapper. I've been searching for a look like this that wouldn't feel like a costume. You are a true inspiration! How did you go about creating that headband?

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  22. so gorgeous!! I love the illusion the top gives!! And that headband!

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  23. can you do a tutorial on how to make that headband? im obsessed!

    www.athriftstoreaddict.blogspot.com

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  24. Hahahaha! So did you get all naked and cry in the shower just like Ace? Finkle n Einhorn, Finkle n Einhorn!

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