There is quite the large discrepancy lately between reality and what I think is reality. Like the other day, I'm not going to lie peeps, I was all dressed up, had my cat eye going down and I felt like the crem da la crem homies. I noticed these girls looking at me as I was walking to my car and I was like dang I AM fine tonight. So my step got a little bouncier, I got a little more confident. And then it happened AGAIN, and only this time it was a couple of guys, and they looked a little too long...awkwardly long. And I was like shoot playa I've still got it! So I went home, and I was ready for my Matt to swoon you know, because I had to be looking fine. So I strutted in the door, giving my groove thing a little bit of an extra pop as I walked, I gave Matt a wink and he looked at me and said, "hey babe, you've got chocolate on your boob or something." Aaannd que my utter horror and despair. My lesson has been learned,
Dear Sarah of the future, if people are staring at your for a long time it is NOT because you look extra hot today. It is not because your ridiculously good looking (as my man zoolander would put it). It is probably because you have your mid day indulgence snack smeared across your lady friends....oh and they probably didn't think it was chocolate...yes that's right, they probably thought who's that freak with the poop on her boob. Now please future Sarah, go humble yourself and please the next time you have a mid day weak moment and those homemade mint brownies are calling your name and you just.can't.resist.any.longer. take a moment to remember that you are a lady and don't eat like a dang ape.