Jun 20, 2012

Bachelorette Recap: Week Six

via 
I debated for one second not doing a review this week and then realized people, someone must insult these men! So here it goes!

1. Travis got kicked off and really people who is surprised. His main gimmick was a dang ostrich egg. As Travis left he awkwardly threw his umbrella-ella-ella to the ground and then said, "Man I have a heart this big." Yes Travis, you're heart is big, but not quite as big as your ostrich egg.

2. Insert TERRIBLE advertising for the movie Brave and Emily and all her girlfriends bachelors sitting around commenting on the movie. "I just can't help but notice how similar the movie is to what we're going through here at the Bachelorette." SO DEEP! And yes, exactly like the movie. Emily is presented with a bunch of sissies and decides they're all total LAME HEADS. And they all lived happily ever after the end.

3. Chris. Oh poor Chris. I would compare Chris' arrow shooting stance unto that of a certain Kim Kardashian golfing. After making a total fool of himself at the Scottish games in Croatia (who holds Scottish games in Croatia???) Emily gave him the bravery cup also called the "I'm So Mortified For You That You Deserve This Pitty Trophy." 

4. Ryan almost made Bachelorette history and almost by the hair of his weirdly shaved chinny chin chin talked Emily out of not giving him a rose. But I think there are more important things to talk about where concerning Ryan don't you. Like the fact that he literally wore a WOMANS TANK TOP AND BLUE SUEDE SHOES IN THE SAME EPISODE! Emily said she wasn't sure why but Ryan just didn't seem like the right choice??? Hello, Emily, girl, he's wearing women's clothing, shaves his beard like Senecca Crane and ACTUALLY owns blue suede shoes. If that doesn't scream douche then I just quit life.

5. Ryans list of 10 Ways To Make Ryan Happy made want to find all of the possums in the world and then set them free in Ryan's beard. And let's not forget that EVERY man needs a trophy wife. Puke puke. Moving on.

6. Will someone stop all of these grown men from constantly crying???!!! The ugly cries were in abundance! Over abundance! But then again this is a perfect example of what my face looks like when I see Arie practically drowning Emily in his saliva baths. Nobody likes a sloppy kisser Arie.
7. Guys this has to be the most boring season of the Bachelorette in history, and Ryan was my only source of entertainment...and now he's gone. Oh no my face is morphing into Doug's ugly cry again!


17 comments :

  1. I was laughing so hard at the awkward umbrella throw! It looked SO staged.

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  2. LOL i am so glad you did the recap! i was hoping you would!!
    you are just hilarious!! I totally agree this season of the bachelorette sucks

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  3. This post was AWESOME. So glad that you decided to do it. I haven't watched for a few weeks and I need to do it because I have to see what I was laughing over in this post.
    Creamy

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  4. I am literally LOL sitting here by my lonesome at my computer...I LOVE these recaps...you speak exactly what I think! Oh, thank you for the good laugh. As a momma of 2 new little twin girls, I needed a good laugh instead of the crying that's been happening! ;)

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  5. Your commentary posts are better than the show. No joke.

    Kate

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  6. Ryan is hilarious! He is so delusional. He reminds me of someone who would try out for American Idol thinking he was amazing, and then sound awful. Plus Emily's dates are so boring. Let's go on a road trip, let's walk around the town, let's go to a movie, let's make cookies. Lame.

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  7. This is great! As I was watching on Monday, I definitely leaned over to my boyfriend (who for some reason was watching too??) and asked him WHY the heck that guy's beard looked like Senecca Crane's. I'm glad you agree!

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  8. hahaha. laughing so hard right now. i agree with kate, your posts are way better than the show!

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  9. MOST BORING SEASON EVER. And seriously, I was hoping she would keep Ryan around just to entertain us. The only thing I want more than this season to be over is a Chloe handbag...

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  10. I laughed out loud at the Senecca Crane comparison and was actually thinking along the same lines while watching. Honestly the most exciting part of this season is when you do the recaps. Please oh please keep doing them.

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  11. hahahhaah!! I actually don't think this season is boring at all. I do however, agree with everything else. I couldn't believe emily almost let ryan talk her out of sending him home. Too close.

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  12. I have to admit, I've never watched the Bachelor or Bachelorette but this made me giggle and want to start watching so I can join in the fun!

    http://www.lighterfrenchtoast.blogspot.com

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  13. Ha ha! This recap cracked me up. I never noticed Ryan's tank. WEIRD.

    Amy

    fashionandbeautyfinds.blogspot.com

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  14. Yes!!!!! Thank you for posting that horrible tank! As soon as I saw it I was like... um what was that! I love your bachelorette posts they are always exactly what I am thinking!

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  15. Ha, do not doubt these Bachelorette posts! I can barely/rarely bring myself to watch the show, but I looove seeing your commentaries pop up in my reader -- keep it coming, lady.

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  16. hahhaa, you always notice things that i missed. like this hideous cry. how did i miss this? and chris's awkward stance compared to kim k's. hilarious.
    i must admit, although i hated ryan, he did serve for quite some entertaining moments. but seriously, those suede shoes......barf!
    xo TJ

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  17. Never stop the reviews. I enjoy it more than the show. After every episode I anxiously await this blog post. so funny and true!

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