Jun 1, 2012

I'm Going To Go Crawl In A Fetal Position Now


Pleather pants: Windsor    blouse: H&M   scarf: thrifted    sunnies: F21


What the f. I tell you what the f is. I never thought I’d wear skin tight pleather pants that’s what. I mean I think in some strange Grease fantasy I have maybe someday wanted to go to a carnival in them and shimmy back and forth with Matt and sing until my heart’s content….but other than that….not ever did I want to try them. But strangely enough I kind of….dare I say….like them. Oh what has become of me!  But then again I never thought I’d unknowingly punch a pregnant woman either so I guess anything can happen. Oh before you get all judgey about the with child mishap let me explain, because I’m not a terrible person (okay yes I am). 1) It was a playful punch, kind of a, I’mma sock you in the arm if you say that one more time kind of thing. 2) She was known for telling lies to make you look stupid and gullible in front of everyone 3) I have strength that is roughly the size of a barge apparently, because my playful punch accidently was…not so playful.

Okay so here’s the skinny, the 411, the low down down low. Me and we’ll call her Prego Ego were in class together and our conversation went something like this.

Prego Ego: “Sarah you’re so stupid.”
Me: “ What?”
Prego Ego: “Yeah you heard me”
Me: “Yeah well your fat…and so is your mom.” (15 year old Sarah is dumb…and also in highschool, give her a break will ya.)
Prego Ego: “I’m not fat I’m just pregnant”
Me: “Whatever”
Prego Ego: “ No really I’m pregnant”
Me: “Whatever, stop lying”

---and que Sarah’s stupid sucker punch that is roughly the strength of a barge----

Prego Ego: “Are you serious…..I really am pregnant stupid” –and then she runs away crying
Me: “Oh my gosh really…I’m so sorry…I didn’t even mean to hit you hard…YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH??!!”

---and que the end of our really strange acquaintanceship----
---and que the birth of a child from Prego Ego roughly eight months later-----

My life people. My life. Could it get any more terrible than that?

16 comments :

  1. aww this is hilarious ... no i have to go make french toast for my toddler =) good way to start the morning!

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  2. Thank you for the Friday Morning Giggle :) BTW.. You Rock those pants <3

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  3. ha! that's something i would totally do. like the time my friend came over with a sling and said she had to go to the hospital 'cuz she thought her arm was broken...and i said, "no it's not!" and punched it as hard as i could...

    ...if it wasn't broken before, it sure was broken when she got to the hospital!

    (it happens)

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  4. I have been loving ever single outfit you've been posting lately- seriously I'm obsessed, in a good way of course :)

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  5. oh my gosh! at least you did it unknowingly, and not maliciously. prego ego's loss!

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  6. Ok, SARAH - I am so confused by this story. Are you being SERIOUS? Haha - i can't tell if you're joking or not! this girl did NOT just straight up say 'you're stupid' and you did NOT just straight up reply 'you're fat and so is your mom' and then punch her in the babymaker???? For real?!! HAHAHAHA - no really, i have to know if this is real or not.
    p.s...i've been coveting those EXACT pleather pants from Windsor for months and months now, i've added them to my cart several times, and i can never conjure up the balls to actually purchase them. you may have just inspired me. they look FAB on you lady! love & miss ya!

    xoxo,
    Shannon
    http://gbofashion.com/

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  7. Bahaha I'm a jerk too although hitting isn't really in my nature, so you one-up me there. In fact, as she ran away crying instead of apologizing I would have yelled something like, "I'm NOT stupid but your still faaaat" hehe

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  8. Haha funny story! And awkward. No one likes a prengant-lady-hitter ;) And I'm loving the pleather! Great look with the denim :)

    Life Etc

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  9. oh no! i'm sure she knew that you really did mean to if you knew the truth! poor girl. but on the brighter side, you are totally rockin' those leather pants!! i've always wanted to wear them, but i don't have the courage yet. that would be pretty sweet though to wear them to a carnival and then go flying into the air in a convertible. we can dream people ;)
    xo TJ

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  10. Is it wrong that I actually laughed really hard at this story??
    Everyone's done stuff like that. Trust me. There are things I've done that bother me at 3am and I wake up cringing and thinking "whhhyyy meee?"

    Also, that scarf is incredible and you've inspired me - I will attempt to be as cool as you and wear one tomorrow. xx

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  11. Oh my gosh your stories always make me laugh!!

    Love this look! Even the pleather pants! Actually, that's my favorite part! I especially love that you wore them with a chambray top.

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  12. Ahahaha! You always crack me up and man, oh man, you're ROCKING those pants!

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  13. Oh my goodness! Even though it is so horrible for you, I laughed so hard at that story. Oh well, you are rocking those pleather pants!

    Now, I have "You are the one I want" stuck in my head. Awesome.

    xoxo,
    Laura
    http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

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  14. Love this blouse and lace scarf together - I think I'll borrow this idea for future))

    http://tri-skelos.blogspot.com/

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