I have become my worst nightmare people. I have become the one in the family that can’t remember a birthday to save her life. It’s despicable (despicable!). Really. Last month it was my sisters birthday, the day came and went, I remember thinking at one point that I really needed to fill my car with gas…oh and not forget to do something else. But whatever that else was I just couldn’t pin point. The day came and went and then I woke up to a text,
“ You forgot Jen’s birthday….and she definitely noticed, she’s pretty mad about it. Better call her.”
OH THE WRATH OF JEN.
First you must know this. In our family, Michelle is the sweet one, Emily is the funny one, I’m the annoying one, Jason is the only form of testosterone in our family that exists and Jen, Jen is the fiery diva (don’t deny it Jen, don’t fight the fiery diva!) In fact we call her J-Mo (Jen Morales…oh Morales! My maiden namesake!) because she’s like J-Lo but mo saucy like.
So anyways, at this point I’m all, “I have disturbed the saucy diva!” And my knees trembled like unto Mary-Kate Olsen after thinking about eating a cheeto…oh did they tremble. So I call the
diva divine woman Jenny, and after thirty minutes of begging and
pleading for forgiveness she finally decided that to right the error of my ways
I must buy her a second present. (Let it be known that my first present was
friggin’ awesome, a leather bomber jacket, the crem de la crem of birthday presents
you know). But now all of my hard birthday present shopping is for naught. Alas I
must find a second.
So anyways, Friday rolls around and I’m all, it’s my Mom’s birthday! And I remembered! A true miracle! And guess what, I get phone calls and texts all day saying, “It’s mom’s birthday DON’T FORGET.” People, I remembered! But who would believe a poor pitiful forgetter like me now?!
I regret to inform you that I have become that pitiful sibling. The one that everyone calls on their birthday, instead of the other way around. Oh wretched me. What’s a scatterbrained girl to do….other than go buy everyone in my family two birthday presents in advance...