May 31, 2012

Snapshots of Colorado


Saturday morning I woke up at the inhumane hour of 6 am to catch a flight out to Denver. Know this, ye people of the world, I am not a morning person. Not in the slightest. I don’t speak in the morning and I never plan on speaking in the morning because all that would come out of my mouth would be grumpiness…grumpiness and morning breath. So I was in my silent moody morning mode on the way to the airport, I got out of the car and headed inside and this nice Justin Bieber haired kid stumbling over his words tells me that the pilot never showed up for the flight so the flight was canceled. Being in my already moody morning mode (which shall henceforth be called mmm) and oh so needing a girls weekend with my sisters I sat there on the verge of tears. Choking back lumps in my throat and thinking to myself, “it’s ok, it’s ok, don’t cry, you’ll get there somehow. Suck it up you wimp! It’s not that big of a deal!” Seven hours later I was finally in Denver, and it was so worth the stupid pilot ordeal. Even though my MMM Sarah want’s to sucker punch the lame pilot in the jugular.

I wasn’t able to walk at my graduation last month so that me and Matt could make it to a wedding on time, but my sisters would just not accept me not walking so we made our own graduation commencement! Michelle gave me her old BYU cap and gown to wear, Jen was the MC, my mom, dad and Little EM were the commencement speakers, my grandma accepted the class of 2012, and the dogs were the ushers (okay no they weren’t but one can dream). Honestly, it was so much better than any graduation ceremony I would have gone to. Having my family together being dorks and holding our own fake graduation was more than I could have asked for. Plus nobody I know gets to play pin the tail on the donkey at their graduation ceremony, so beat that BYU!

Later that night I rummaged through old family photos and somehow ended up in my mom’s closet trying on her wedding dress. It was so elegant. Silk, long sleeves, with lace trim on the hem and neckline. I sat there in it, sprawled across my Mom’s bed and felt just completely at peace. It can be so difficult to live far away from family, especially my family, we’ve all been best friends since I can remember and I feel like I’m missing my other half when I’m not with them. But trips like these remind me that it won’t be too long until we’re all together again, and that no matter what when we’re together we can always pick up right where we left off.

Love you guys! Thanks for the great weekend sistas!

May 30, 2012

Week Three Recap With Emily Mayeatyoualive



1.And que opening shot of one 26 year old (Emily)  getting served breakfast in bed straight from her mommy dearest who has the voice of Clint Eastwood and the orange skin of Snookie. Congratulations Emily, this is what you have to look forward to in twenty years! Also, hummus and veggies for breakfast Emily? I get the shakes thinking of all the healthy stuff you must eat. I was slightly hoping you’d show you were actually a relatable human being by eating some good ‘ol greasy bacon and eggs but there you had to go being all boring again.

2. I about laughed my shoes off when Emily and Chris were climbing up the wall, like old grannys might I add (only they could make scaling a building seem boring) and Emily decided to do the typical get half way up the wall and THEN freak out. It went something like this, “ Poopy poopy oh I’ve climbed halfway up the wall but I’m choosing to be scared now! Blah blah I don’t think I can do this!” And then Chris turns to Emily and says, “I’ll be there in a second.” And then they both awkwardly realize that Chris clearly cannot move to help her at all because duh they are on parallel ropes and harnesses. So they just stare awkwardly, Chris pretends to reach out to her, and then they just act like he never said anything and just keep climbing. Awkward.

3. Chris managed to get even lamer when him and Emily go to a concert and he awkwardly leans over and says, “Can I kiss you at the end of this song?” Wow Chris wow. Not only did you ask to kiss her (LAME) but you also had to ask three minutes in advance, and then while waiting for the three minutes to be up mouth the lyrics to the cheesiest love song ever into Emily’s ear. And that is how the Grinch’s heart shrunk three sizes in one day.

4. I love how Emily’s “friends” were a perfectly politically correct mixture of people. You’ve got the typical soccer mom, a little bit saggy everywhere and hitting on any single man she can find. The skinny vegetarian. The bland girl that I can’t remember for the life of me what the heck she even looked like and of course got to pull the racial card, let’s throw in an Indian woman that says absolutely NOTHING the entire time.

5. I got ridunkulously creeped out by the soccer mom. It seemed like she was living out this 50 shades of Grey fantasy the entire time. “So can you take off your shirt?” “Can I sit on you while you do pushups?” “Will you dance for me?”. Yes ladies. Those all came out of her horndog mouth and then I considered spraying Windex in my eyes.

6. I got exhausted watching the guys trying to look like they ACTUALLY enjoyed playing with the kids. I do have to hand it to Jef with one f though. He legitimately enjoyed himself during the playtime and at one point literally transformed into a child before my eyes. When they showed him coming down the slide with pure joy on his face I was like, “Wait, why is there a 12 year old kid in this group of 6 year olds?…..oh wait it’s just baby face Jef……and he’s playing by himself on the playground.”

7. Ryan has now shaved his beard into points on he is now a perfect representation of what the devil’s stubble would look like. Oh and also, he wants everyone to know that he will love Emily if she’s fat…he just won’t love ON her as much. Oh thanks for clearing that up Ryan, we were afraid you were a douche before that, but you’ve really put all of womankind at ease.

8. Apparently it was the night for What would a douche say? because Richy Rich showed his true colors tonight with his whole, “ I love the sound of your voice but I really wish you’d let me finish my sentence.” Well Richy Rich, we love it when you make yourself look like a moron but we really wish you’d stop wearing so much chapstick.

9.Why are all of Emily’s clothes so booby?

10. It’s official, on Emily’s date with Arie I realized who “the one” really is for her. Dolly Parton. Why didn’t I see it? Emily’s fake teeth would be a perfect match for Dolly’s botox!

11. Was Emily wearing friggin’ Uggs with her gold sequined dress?

12. Aye de mi! Where do I even start with the latin cousin lover. 1. He’s going to hate himself in the morning when he wikipedias the word compromise 2. He dated his cousin? 3. He thinks about her sometimes? 4. He  can't even keep a puppy alive? 5.Somehow made himself look even MORE like the Geico cave man the Ben did. Get out. Just get out.

13. Jersey boy and his 14 year old mean girl face are finally outta here! Hallelujah, I can endure this season! Maybe Jersey boy can go find Emily’s soccer mom friend and “dance for her”. We wish you well Jersey boy, and may all your Pauly D dreams come true.

May 29, 2012

Oh The Humanity!!

Dress: Thrifted and revived  Blazer: F21   Shoes: Thrifted    Belt: Thrifted


There’s nothing worse than leaving your family after an AMAZING weekend with them. Oh wait, actually there is. It’s when you get home from said amazing weekend, and your eyes are all red and puffy from your teary departure, you (and by you I mean me) set your bags on the floor and contemplate unpacking in your current state of depression but you can’t even get yourself to unzip the dang suitcase. Instead it turns into more of a leave your bags on the floor for two days and slowly take out items as you need them, toiletries obviously escape that dreary bag first, but sometimes you just want to let that bag sit there, you know, let it  remind you that it wasn’t that long ago that you were with your family. It stands there as a mighty glimmer of hope that you’ll be back soon!  Or maybe it just stands there as a testament to how freakishly lazy you are. Watevs. I’m cool with both. Now who wants to come do my laundry while I eat an entire jar of Nutella in my jammies?!

May 28, 2012

Nostalgia

Sorry for my lack of posting, I've been soaking up every bit of my much needed time in Colorado. I pinky promise that I'll be back tomorrow! But for now these photos that I found in an old dusty photo book today will have to do. Just fyi,. even mini Sarah was a total dog lover. Me and Sparky were best friends and pretty much inseperable. And also hello....our sweat suits our totally back in style no?!

May 23, 2012

Well That Was Weird

blouse: c/o ROMWE (buy it here) belt: thrifted   pants: Anthro   bag: thrifted   shoes: thrifted

There is quite the large discrepancy lately between reality and what I think is reality. Like the other day, I'm not going to lie peeps, I was all dressed up, had my cat eye going down and I felt like the crem da la crem homies. I noticed these girls looking at me as I was walking to my car and I was like dang I AM fine tonight. So my step got a little bouncier, I got a little more confident. And then it happened AGAIN, and only this time it was a couple of guys, and they looked a little too long...awkwardly long. And I was like shoot playa I've still got it! So I went home, and I was ready for my Matt to swoon you know, because I had to be looking fine. So I strutted in the door, giving my groove thing a little bit of an extra pop as I walked, I gave Matt a wink and he looked at me and said, "hey babe, you've got chocolate on your boob or something." Aaannd que my utter horror and despair. My lesson has been learned,  

Dear Sarah of the future, if people are staring at your for a long time it is NOT because you look extra hot today. It is not because your ridiculously good looking (as my man zoolander would put it). It is probably because you have your mid day indulgence snack smeared across your lady friends....oh and they probably didn't think it was chocolate...yes that's right, they probably thought who's that freak with the poop on her boob. Now please future Sarah, go humble yourself and please the next time you have a mid day weak moment and those homemade mint brownies are calling your name and you just.can't.resist.any.longer. take a moment to remember that you are a lady and don't eat like a dang ape.

May 22, 2012

How The Bachelorette Ruined all Things Holy...Even The Muppets




Aaaand round two.
 
1.Chris’ muppet laugh made me want to roll up in a fetal position and cry for my mom, and then slap Harrison for ruining my sacred Muppets.
 
2.What was up with Emily, “Oh I’m so worried about dancing….I’m not much of a dancer.” And then lo and behold her big “dance” turned out to be her standing in one place and popping her knee in and out for 10 minutes straight. Puke.
 
3. Muscle man/date one…I don’t even care if I know his name, because he so won’t be around much longer, but did anyone feel so terrible for him when they baked cookies for the soccer team and then Emily made him wait in the car while Emily delivered the cookies. And he looked like a total creeper peeking out of the car while she delivered the cookies.
 
4. I really like Charlie, I mean he’s not cute at all, but he pretty much broke my heart with his fear of speaking in public. He’s a little puppy….okay a giant puppy that could break me in half with his Schwarzenegger neck…but still a puppy okay.
 
5. Leave it to The Bachelorette to ruin my favorite Muppet Kermit, only they could turn Kermie into a desperate perv.
 
6. Jersey boy once again proved to be entertaining for week two! Thanks for the awkward middle school two step dance Jersey boy. Now will someone please explain to me why he’s STILL HERE!!
 
7. Poor date two guy had spit on his chin for at least fifteen minutes. I COULD.NOT.STOP.STARING.
 
8. I’m just going to put this out there but Emily’s date two dress was TERRIBLE. Her little bedazzles looked like grapes hanging on a vine from her belly button and then continued to linger on to protect her….must I say…. loins??? Perhaps a chastity belt for an overprotective mom?
 
9. That 10 page letter (okay it was actually 7 pages I counted) KILLED ME DEAD! Using “furthermore” in a love letter man…rookie move, it sounded more like a contract to me than a confession of love. Why don’t you just throw in a “heretofore” and an “in addition to” to make you sound real legit and smart saucy man. Also, making that poor guy stand there while she read all.seven.pages. He’s a sauce face. Can we just all agree and de-rose him please?
 
10. In addition to my previous statement I heretofore declare this season of The Bachelorette to be hopeless…and boring. Furthermore, the race car driver is the only one that I think has a flying rats chance. 

May 21, 2012

It Looks Like A...

sweatshirt: F21  Jeans: F21   Shirt: thrifted     Shoes: thrifted     Bag: ASOS   Sunnies: F21


Did any of you guys try to catch the solar eclipse yesterday? We made special little goggles and everything to look through  but it just looked like a giant sun to me…I don’t know did I miss something? Now there are just lots of black spots where my vision once was…. so you know, the retina damage was TOTALLY WORTH IT! My black spots are starting to turn into shapes though, which is way more fun than irritating I must admit. Throughout the day I’ve yelled, “One eared bunny with no cotton tail!” or “Praying Mantis with a marshmallow in his mouth!" and Matt thought I’d totally lost it after staring at the sun for a half hour but little did he know I was playing my own game of Name That Black Splotch! I just wish it wasn't a one player game....oh and also that it didn't make me look like a total crazy face.

May 18, 2012

DIY Sequin Heart Pin


Craft Time: 10 minutes

You'll Need: 
Sequin Trim (I found mine at JoAnne's)
Red Felt
A Glue Gun
Scissors
A Sharpie
A Pin

1. On felt draw a heart that is roughly 3"X3"
2. Cut the heart out
3. Starting at the outter most top center of the heart begin gluing the sequin trim to the felt and working your way in.
4. Hot glue a pin to the back of the heart.

Wham Bam your done!

*P.S. I announced the Downeast Basics giveaway winner in the post below!

And The Winner Is...

Hooray Chelsey! Shoot me and e-mail and I'll get you all hooked up with your prize!

May 15, 2012

A Tutorial: How To Edit Your Own Photos

A little bit of photo editing can go a big way in making your pictures look a bit more professional. I try to keep my photo editing as quick and simple as possible, these four basic edits take me about two minutes but go a LOOOOONG way. For this tutorial I used Photoshop (I swear by it, there's just SO DANG MUCH you can do in Photoshop. If you want to get into photography I would recommend this as one of your first investments). Anyways, hope this tutorial helps. Let me know if you have any questions or would like any more photo tutorials!

In Which I Rant About The Bachelorette....And It's Only Episode One


 1.Who wanted to puke in the directors shoes by how ridiculously staged this whole episode was. They’re getting worse you guys…..or they think we’re getting dumber. I don’t really care to know which is true. But can we talk about how Emily tucks her daughter in mid-day and little Ricki says, “I’m grateful for love.” You know what I would have done as a kid, why little Sarah what are you grateful for, “I’m grateful for that delicious cookie you let me eat tonight mom!” That’s what I would be grateful for. And did anyone notice that the sun was really bright when she tucked her daughter in, perhaps an afternoon nap? Meh I don’t care enough to find out.


 2. Let’s all have a moment of silence for Chris Harrison and the fact that he was wearing his wedding ring in this episode….and is now divorced. Maybe Chris and Emily can hook up this season?! Please I wouldn’t put it past them.


 3. Holy crap-sicle people. Emily is twenty six and her daughter is like what…12? Okay maybe that’s a high guess…10? 14-16 when pregnant? No judgement here. Just stating a possible maybe fact-ish. And also, Emily looks great but she does not look 26, my official guess was 31.


 4. The guy from Salt Lake Utah…you know the one that looks like he popped out of Grease and returned from his mission last week? Baby face Jef with one F! He was skateboarding in Provo in his video. You guys I walk there all the time…which practically means I’m famous.


 5. Did one of those guys just confess to having 6 kids…within his first sentence to Emily. Yes he did. Also…guaca-MOLE.


 6. Why has no one ever presented me with an Ostriche egg that they will use as a metaphor of how they will guard and protect my heart. 


 7. Yay boom box man! They’re trying to get a bit of Jersey Shore action over here on The Bachelorette! Was Emily paid to keep him on just one more episode so we could see him make an even bigger fool of himself? I give him one more episode. Dance Jersey boy dance!


 8. Mr. Suave, you know the one that would only talk in Spanish to Emily. What’s the dealio with the neck mullet and his TERRIBLE diamond stud. He looks like he’s about to sail out into the open seas and get scurvy. People. Slim pickin’s on this season am I right?!


 9. My gaydar went off at least 10 times throughout this episode.


 10. The fitness model taking off his shirt in the end. I CANNOT. “Why wouldn’t you want me with a body like this?” Who would want you with a personality like that?? Oh sweet heaven give me strength to make it through this season. There was so much crap going on that I didn’t even mention that a full grown man dressed up as an old woman to meet Emily. An old woman…with a cane…and a wig…and a dress…and then he tried to tear it off like he was Superman. But he wasn’t strong enough to tear it. Alas give me strength to bear this.

May 11, 2012

Wearing My Heart On My Chesticles

shirt: Old Navy   jeans: Nordstrom    shoes: thrifted    pin: DIY (want a tutorial?!)

Can you please go read the title of this post, because it's kind of my shining moment of glory as far as clever titles go. Oh come on...it ties in with the name of this blog and I used the word chesticles. CHESTICLES YOU GUYS! I need to just end this blog now because it can't get any better than this. There's just.no.way. Ummm, moving on from chesticles, I used this here sequin heart to cure me of my crap o' sac week. Let me tell you what my arm pit of a week was filled with, promises of dinners but only bowls of cereal consumed, outings aspired to but replaced with exhausted sprawls on the couch. Crying over spilled milk....literally. What we had none left and cereal was going to be my dinner. And my disaster of a home, don't even get me started. There's a bedroom somewhere in that pile of clothes I swear. Ugh this week was just pathetic really. So in hopes of salvaging some of my lame A week I made this here heart. Guys I just realized something...had I pinned my heart on my arm I would literally have been wearing my heart on my sleeves. Ha! I knew the title of this blog would come in handy some day! Huzzah! Now go say chesticles three times fast and see if that doesn't give you an awesome start to your weekend!


*P to the S my sweet friend (not just cyber but real life friend!) Shannon featured me over at her blog today. You can read about it here!

May 10, 2012

Moab

These phone pictures were my best option while we were canyoneering in Moab. Most of the stuff we did required us to throw our packs around and dangle our bags from a rope while we repelled and I couldn't stomach the thought of my precious camera being swung and dangled off of cliffs so camera phone it was. We had so much fun in Moab, Matt's a natural climber, I mean look at the legs on that guy, and I have fun just trying to keep up with him. I asked Matt if we will still be doing this stuff when we have kids and he said, "Hells yeah, we'll just strap 'em in and take them along for the ride. I'll be the buffest dad ever!"
 I like this kids thinking.

May 9, 2012

DIY Supre (AKA Mullet) Skirt


You'll Need:
A Skirt
Chalk
Scissors
Sewing Machine (or needle and thread if you want to do the hem by hand)
Skirt hanger

Craft Time: About 20 minutes

1. In the center front pin where you would like the shortest point of the skirt to be.
2. With the pin still in place fold the skirt in half along center front and center back of the skirt. (this means the side seams will now be in the front)
3. Starting at the pin in the front use chalk to draw an S shaped curve.
4. Cut along the chalk line you just drew.
5. Hem the skirt by folding the hem under 1/4 of an inch and then top stitching all along the hemline.

Wa la! Mullet Skirt!

May 8, 2012

Business In The Front And A Party In The Back

skirt: thrifted and revived (tutorial on how tomorrow!)  shoes: thrifted  blouse: thrifted   bow: thrifted   belt: thrifted  sunnies: f21

Ahh las montanas were b.e.a.utiful. The trip was just perfect, but let's be real, had I had to sleep on the rocky ground and listen to drunk guys screaming at each other in the camp ground next to us for one more night I might have gone a little cray cray on those hooligans. I WOULD have gotten up and showed those guys who was boss, but a Sarah without her contacts in is a useless Sarah (it's an ancient proverb, look it up). In other riveting news, the thrift store was having a half off sale and I found this skirt for $1.50 so I figured I would do a little experimenting with it to come up with a tutorial for a tiered skirt for you guys. And it didn't turn out to shabby right, it's like the mullet of skirts wouldn't you say, business in the front and a party in the back, and anything that is remotely close to having a mullet I whole heartedly support, so yes, TUTORIAL TOMORROW FOR THE MULLET SKIRT! HEYOH!

May 4, 2012

To The Mountains We Go

dress: boutique in Laguna    shoes: Target   bag: Target   sunnies: F21  scarf: thrifted (it's actually a table runner, ha!)  necklace: F21
 Matt and I are headed to Moab for the weekend to get our hike on. Matt is so excited to leave that he's got all of his camping gear all ready to go and waiting by the door. It's probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. There a few things indeed that Matt loves more than camping...sour patch kids and Mountain Dew. Oh what you thought I was going to say me? Oh please! I'm not about to get all ooey gooey pukey on you. Now get out of here and have yourself a good weekend will you!

May 3, 2012

Life-O-Gram

Just a few random thoughts for ya.

1. Our lilac tree is in bloom. And she smells and looks similar to what I think a unicorn hug would feel like. Wutt?? Yes. A unicorn hug. So me, I read under it every day, and the Indian, she sits under it all day (what dog would say no to shade). It's our own little spot in the yard.

2. I'm doing this thing called....trying to be domestic. Ugh that tastes awful coming out of my mouth. Okay so I haven't been such a fan of cooking in the past. But I'm trying, okay I'm really trying...a few times a week. I attempted some summer time tomato basil bruschetta and it made the taste of domesticity...a bit sweeter.

3. Laguna was GORGEOUS. To get to Laguna you wind through this beautiful green canyon and you can't help but stick your head out the window and smell that sweet salty beach air as you wind through the canyon. I kept telling Matt, "So this is where we're ending up...RIGHT!" We love California, and our plan is most definitely to end up there some day soon.

4. I found the swimsuit of all of my hopes and dreams in Laguna. You see, I design clothes in my head on an hourly basis. I'm always thinking, "Man I need someone to design this so I can go buy it" (Yes I could do it myself. And most definitely YES I'm lazy, so I stick to head designing instead.) I wandered into this little boutique in Laguna and seriously found the literal swimsuit of my dreams, I'm not kidding, I'd dreampt up the exact thing last summer and had been contemplating sewing it and then bam, straight up swimsuit of my dreams appears in a window display. How do you like that for your hopes and dreams coming true.

5. I have not washed my hair in three days. And I just wanted you to know that I'm not ashamed, just ridiculously proud of myself, and that birds nest of hair up there is my trophy.  Ain't she a beauty?

Oh and if you happen to want to follow me on instagram you can find me at @fromsarahsleeve

May 1, 2012

Love Child

blouse: Target  headband: handmade  jeans: F21  shoes: Target  sunnies: borrowed from this lovely lady

The 90's and the 70's got all flirty and rambunctious and had a love child...it's me. Oh and just in case you were wondering, I'm still coping with the split. Floral and acid wash just could not work through their issues. I obviously, am heartbroken, and also looking forward to two Christmases this year.