Jul 31, 2012
Jul 30, 2012
blouse: F21 jeans: F21 necklace: thrifted shoes: thrifted purse: c/o Francesca's Collection
So Matt’s work is pretty much the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory of Jobs, like it’s pretty much just a giant party e’ryday. They have slurpee machines, soda fountains, free lunches catered, they're dog friendly and the CEO owns a poodle that knows how to drink out of the drinking fountain. They’re even building a slide from the second to the first floor because their just cool like that. Oh and did I mention they had Jef (with one F) from The Bachelorette come and visit last week. People, it’s the freaking Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory of jobs.
So anyways, yesterday Matt tells me that he’s bringing Indie to work so that she can get in on the party. And I’m not going to lie, I was a bit jealous that I didn’t get invited to the slurpee drinking, poodle petting party, but whatevs, I’m not bitter. And of course mid day I get this text from Matt.
Sir Matt: “So we have a life size storm trooper in the office, and Indie thinks it’s real, she won’t stop barking at it.”
Me: “best.dog.ever. Just as I thought it wasn’t possible to love her more, she goes and finds a life size storm trooper to protect us from.”
Sir Matt: “I gotta go, she just found a life sized Buddha that she really hates.”
Me: “Need I say it again? BEST DOG EVER.”
Sir Matt: “I took pictures! Oh and the poodle pretty much humped her to death. Love you.”
I just…….. I mean….. I have the best husband AND dog ever. Right??? I mean right?
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 25, 2012
OASAP (buy it here) jeans: American Eagle shoes: thrifted bag: c/o OASAP (buy it here)
I wore pants two days in a row and then had a serious identity crisis. But then I remembered that is was because I hadn’t shaved my legs in like a week and totally felt better about who I was as a person. While we’re on the personal confession note I might as well tell you that I ate raw hotdogs everyday as a kid, and I ate them like corn on the cob, picture it. So glad I got that off my chest.
Jul 24, 2012
1. Threee hours. Three hours of my life. Can we talk about other things that are three hours long. Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings….oh and the gosh dang Bachelorette. These people must think we are the most brain dead viewers in the world if they think we’ll be captivated by every single blurry flash back, live audience interview, and “shocking new secrets”. People, it was three.hours. Some people can birth a child faster than they can watch The Bachelorette.
2. ABC is cruel. Them making Aerie make a “love potion” with an old lady just to fill time was for real cruel. It went something like this, “I made this love potion for you…with an old lady….no normal man would ever do this for a woman….oh have I told you I love you….here let me rub my love potion on your wrists…doesn’t it smell of our everlasting love??”….. “yeah this just isn’t working for me.” You guys, so cruel. He had no idea what was coming, and every 50 shades of Grey reading mother in there was crying baseball sized tears after that break up. I mean, even Emily, the botox queen of the world managed to crease her forehead and raise her eye brows for this one.
3. Emily’s mom is Barry White….if he were a blonde chain smoker. The end.
4. I refuse to be entertained by thirty year old lonely women fan girling over whether they like Jef or Aerie more. Like who thought, man this stuff is real ground breaking, we’ve just got to show this. It was team Edward/Jacob all over again.
5. Here’s the thing, no matter how hard I try to like Jef I just feel like he’s such a schmoozer. He is the guy that will say ALL of the right things and not mean a SINGLE one of them. Think about it, his letter on the hometown date, his last message to Emily the week Sean got cut, his proposal. These words are the things that Twighlight’s are made of, and I just feel like he was spoon feeding her all of this ooey gooey crap the entire time and she bought it. But I mean, to their credit, they do seem genuinely happy. I just would never go for a guy like that.
6. Jef and suits are like Nuttella and my mouth. They should never be without one another. I mean DANG that guy can wear a suit! However I was genuinely concerned that his pants would split when he knelt down on one knee. Unfortunately, all women’s hopes and dreams were dashed when his suit remained intact.
7. Emily’s brother got the short end of the gene stick….or maybe that’s what Emily’s whole family would look like without the multiple surgeries. Oh shoot now I just can’t stop picturing her brothers face on Emily’s body. Wow, that was more entertaining than the entire three hours of the show. Let’s do a Chris Harrison Face and a Sean body next!
8. One more thing. Jef is the man that you want as a friend because he can liven up a party, but not the man you date because he’ll leave you high and dry. Like blue knee high socks high and dry.
9. Aerie’s diary. Don’t even get me started, he’s genuine you guys, and he would do anything for her. He kept a bachelorette daily journal for goodness sake. My heart just broke for him. And let’s just pour some salt in that wound, Emily didn’t even read it. The poor guy. I actually like him a ton more now that Emily didn’t choose him.
10.Aerie looks at least ten billion times hotter with all of that makeup. Get your girl on Aerie!
11. Jef and Emily’s happy ending music sounded exactly like Shrek music. Don’t deny it, you know it was the Shrek theme song ABC!
12. Holy hair extensions Emily. That horse pony tail just wasn’t enough was it. You just had to go and cut off a thousand Barbie do’s and glue them to your head. Stop the tacky hair-a –thon. For the love of all that is good, you are gorgeous, stop the insanity!
13. Well guys, I can’t say that I’m surprised. To be totally honest I knew how the show would end from week three because one of my friends knows Jef and he spilled the beans to everyone….sooooo…..this season has been a bum load of yawns for me. You want to know the best part of it though? Getting to gossip over it with all of you! So what did you think, were you happy with the ending, or just hoping for a more skanky drama filled version of all of this next season, because what is the Bachelorette all about if it’s not finding your one true love by making out in hot tubs and flying over mountains only to break up one month later because you realized you never knew each other at all, YOU KNOW!!!
14. Oh also. This picture came up when I googled "Bachelorette Finale Pictures" and so well, there's that.
Jul 23, 2012
So yesterday I was at Wal-Mart, and here’s the thing about Wal-Mart, I avoid it at all costs. I’m talking I will resort to using my dog’s shampoo and I will start using paper towels as Kleenex’s as long as it delays my trip to Wal-Mart. Because the thing about Wal-Mart is that inevitably you will a) see someone’s butt crack b) wander the aisles aimlessly wondering what you even needed in the first place c) buy mounds of processed junk food that you KNOW you don’t need d) have an old man hit on you e) almost get run over by an electric cart riding aggressive shopper f)spend a minimum of thirty minutes in the checkout line or g)all of the above.
So yes, I avoid Wal-Mart like the plague.
Where was I? Oh yes, so I’m at Walmart, and I’m trying to find sandwhich bags. And as I was contemplating zip lock, equate or tweezing my arm hairs one by one until I cried like a fetus, and I noticed a man in some serious daisy dukes, I’m talking the pockets hanging out of the shorts and everything, and I’m thinking dangit, if he reaches for the top shelf, option “a)see someone’s butt crack” can definitely be checked off. So I grab equate, because who am I kidding, I’m cheap and I turn to Matt and say, “Do we have everything we need?” and Mr. Daisy dukes pipes in and says, “You have everything I need….” And I’m thinking crap I knew I should have let my dad buy me a pepper spray key chain for Christmas. So I say to him “Ha.” The kind that says, I’ll entertain your terrible sense of humor but I don’t think it’s funny, and then I turn to leave. Of course Daisy Dukes pipes in again, “No but really, you have everything I need, you took my cart.” I looked down at the cart and of course there were zip locks, a pair of camo shorts and some jelly belly’s…..NOT MINE!!
He laughed a creepy laugh, like Julia Roberts if she were a dude wearing daisy dukes, clapped his hands together and I let go of the cart, put my head down and as I power walked it out of there said, “SORRRRRRYYY!”
So now I have one more reason to avoid Wal-Mart h) I might run into a man wearing daisy dukes and remember that I once saw his butt crack and then tried to steal his cart.
Moral of the story? Target or die!!!!
Jul 18, 2012
Jul 16, 2012
Shirt: TJ Maxx trousers: H&M shoes: gifted bag: thrifted
I’m pretty sure that I married an axe murderer (have you seen that movie, because I grew up on that amazing piece of glory, If you haven’t seen it speedily repent and go watch its cheesiness) okay no but really. I’m genuinely concerned. I keep finding weapons all over the house. Last night I was making the bed (what do you really think I’m one of those people that makes the bed right when I get out of it? That stuff is for chumps) and guess what I found underneath the decorative pillows, a giant knife. Then I was grabbing a check from Matt’s sock drawer, another great and spacious knife, and guess what I happened upon when I went to set the alarm clock….another friggin’ knife. Surprise. So I became genuinely concerned, I mean if there are plans to have a knife throwing contest or if there are plans to replace every item in this house with a knife I should know right?? I mean right?! So I approached the Sir Matt and I was like, “What’s up with the millions of knives randomly stowed around the house, because if you’re going to kill me in my sleep I want to know about it.” and Matt, just nonchalantly looked up from his lap top and said, “Sarah, if someone comes into this house I want to know that I have at least four back up knives aside from the one I sleep with under my pillow.” ----cricket cricket---“You don’t sleep with a knife under your pillow. I would know, I make the bed.” “Oh yeah, I put it there every night before I go to sleep.” ----cricket cricket----. “Ummmm kay I’m going to bed. Sleep tight, don’t let the burglars bite.” Guys, is this a normal man thing? Or should I be concerned that I’m going to wake up less two fingers and a baby toe?
Jul 13, 2012
-About 3/4 yard of fabric of your choice
-Ink Effects Paint and Primer (I love this because it won't peel, it's -permanent, and you can wash it! It's like being able to make your -own fabric patterns.)
-About 3/4 yard of fabric of your choice
-Ink Effects Paint and Primer (I love this because it won't peel, it's -permanent, and you can wash it! It's like being able to make your -own fabric patterns.)
1. Measure your pillow and then add 1 1/4 inches to all sides of the pillow (For example, my pillow was square and 19 inches on both length and height so I cut two square pieces at 201/4 inches)
2. Now cut your pillow case fabric, there need to be two pieces, one for the front and one for the back.
3. On the front piece of fabric for the pillow case on the right side spray the Ink Effects base coat (to find a location by you, you can click on the link) and then set the piece aside to dry.
4. While the piece of fabric is drying print out the floral water color design on any type of paper (Click here to download the water color printable of this design and then size it to fit your pillow.) and then with the ink effects paint (to find a place you can buy it you can click on the link) paint over the design.
5. Once the painted paper is dry place it face down on the front piece that was previously sprayed with the base coat and then iron over the piece of paper (iron for about thirty to forty seconds, you can also lift the design and then iron again to make the design even darker)
6. Now on all edges but one sew the two pillow case pieces right side together, place the pillow inside and then hand stitch the pillow case closed.
If you want to see more examples of crafts you can use with Ink Effects you can click on the links below!
You can find my post disclosure here
Jul 12, 2012
Saturday's spent in pajamas painting, dinners on the car hood by the river, hot air balloons landing in front of me as I drive to work, epic books, soul food, and never ending colors all around me. I'd say this summer has been pretty magical so far.
*P to the dang S, the last picture is a sneak peak for tomorrow's DIY, I CANNOT wait to show you guys!
Jul 11, 2012
I had the opportunity to do the hair and makeup for this shoot a few weeks ago and just had to share these pictures with you guys. So dreamy right, and that bike, yeah I'd marry an octopus for that bike. I tried to nonchalantly walk away with it at the end of the day but they just weren't having it. Until we meet again my red love.
Jul 10, 2012
|Emily about to be swallowed whole|
1. I don’t know about you guys but I REALLY appreciated the flash back to Arie’s Bell days. I mean for realz, he had fake bosoms and everything. Thank you ABC for doing one thing right this season and reminding us of Aerie’s voluptuous woman bosoms.
2. I decided that Aerie is past his prime and it’s only going downhill from here. Do you guys see it too? Like he was probably that ridiculously hot senior in high school that every girl day dreamed about getting the chance to talk to, and then a few years later he got a head of grays and became a mediocre race car driver and it was just all downhill from there. Don’t you just know that in your heart of hearts that he will probably be one of those fugly dads? 'Tis true, and also that red rash going on around his well…whole entire face, is just not working for me. Aerie can you just go back to being Bell please, I think you were cuter then, especially your mosoms (man bosoms). Can we all just say that out loud real quick. MOSOMS!!!
3. Sean has now been the second man this season to wear woman’s clothing. I never saw that coming. I appreciate a v neck on a man just as much as the next girl but Sean my man, you almost had a nipple slip and exposed your mosoms. There I go saying mosoms again!
4. Can someone give poor Sean a visor….or sunglasses….or a friggin’ hat. All of his squinting is giving me a headache.
5. Emily is INTO Jef. Like I’m pretty sure Emily would search the seven seas for the missing F in Jef’s name if he asked her too. She would not stop smiling at him. Guy’s Jef’s putting up a pretty dang good fight. But his video message to Emily killed me dead with pure Notebook cheese ball junk, the following words were literally spewed from his mouth “When we were on the feris wheel in London I never wanted to come down and when we were on the floor in Prague I never wanted to get up.” Jef, I just stuck my head in the microwave to forget that just came out of your mouth. Can you be real for a second? I still just don’t see those two together, you know unless Emily’s into that whole my husband looks like my son thing.
6. As if there weren’t enough bosoms going on in this episode Emily introduced her lady friends to Ciracao, and those things were so full of silicone that there was at least a six inch cleavage thing happening over there. I mean I was genuinely concerned that the dolphin they were swimming with might get stuck in that crack somehow. Genuinely concerned people!
7. The horse tail came back!!!
8. Chris Harrison was just trying to make that poor girl crawl into the fetal position and weep, “So how are you feeling about getting rid of one person Emily?” “Sad” “What??? Really??” What did you think she was going to say weirdo.
9. Guys Sean’s goodbye was just heartbreaking. He’s such a good guy. But I found something that will make us all feel a little bit better about Emily’s choice.
Yes that’s right, Sean was a body builder…and also oompa loompa orange! Wait maybe they are perfect for each other!
10. Can I just provide you with one more Mormon translation for Jef?? Oh yes, okay. “There is a time and a place for everything, right now it’s the time to bridle our passions.” In other words “Mormons don’t do the dirty until they’re married….and my parents would freak if I stayed the night.” Watch out Jef, your Mormon is showing.
11. Emily’s face doesn’t even move when she cries. That’s all I have to say about that.
12. The very first helicopter appearance of the season guys!!! And Emily was so not into it, she had that awkward perma-grin on the whole time...to her credit though maybe she really was excited and her botox just wouldn’t let her show it.
Jul 9, 2012
vneck: F21 boyfriend jeans: thrifted scarf: thrifted shoes: thrifted bag: thrifted sunnies: f21
Here is the thing about red hair. One might think that they want red hair. They might look at pictures of fiery red heads and think THAT is the color for me, because I am fiery, and daring! And then you know, upon getting this red hair they will think that they have never felt more Ron Weasley –ish than this very moment in which they now have carrot top head. And Ron Weasley, well let’s face it he’s the arm pit of the HP gang, and nobody would pick looking like Ron over Hermoine you know. They just wouldn’t! So moral of the story, I’m dying my hair back, it’s been fun red hair, we had a real good time you know, but get the freak off of my head!
Oh also a note from a normal sized person in this world. Unless you are a twig, and can be sent flying into the air by a large gust of wind, boyfriend jeans just aren't the most flattering thing in this world for a ladies figure. But they're freakishly comfy so ya know, you win some you lose some.
Obviously for me today life was just a giant win win situation, carrot top head and comfort both won. Is it Friday yet??
Jul 6, 2012
It was filled with apple cinnamon french toast, a long walk in the park, some pretty dang delicious barbecue and of course a never ending supply of sparklers and friends. We kind of like our fourth of July around here. Hope yours was just as much fun!
Jul 5, 2012
blouse: c/o Romwe skirt: homemade purse: Target necklace: thrifted
How was everybody’s fourth of July?! Mine was pretty dang explosive….literally. The woods across from our house lit on fire while we were over at a friend’s house. Sir Matt and I saw the smoke from their house and looked at each other simultaneously and said….”that fire looks like it’s exactly where we live”. We ran over to our house to make sure everything was okay and luckily the fire was across the street at the river so nobody’s homes were damaged, it was pretty dang scary to think our house was burning to a crisp though. So you know, other than the whole hey our house might be on fire thing we had a pretty great day! Lots of friends, food and fireworks (pictures to come soon, promise)!
Jul 3, 2012
1. That welcome home banner that said “Welcome Home Mom” was probably made by some poor ABC intern that spent his Friday night in a sea of glitter and bedazzles. Just saying. That was not made by a little girl that thinks dragons still live in castles.
2. Sean kisses like a dog, just sticks his toungue out there and hopes it’s well received.
3. Could Chris and Emily’s reunion have been more awkward? Chris just stood there bobbling his little twitch yead and looking you know…like a devil snake and Emily pops up behind him. Surprise devil snake! Surprise! That was dumb.
4. They keep seating families like they are at the last supper. Unfortunately Chris, this will be your last supper with the Maynard.
5. Chris’ dad is polish to the max! Gold chain, slicked hair, thick accent. Polish to the max people!
6. Chris’ family party was so staged. “Oh don’t mind us, we have polish jig parties every day of the week!”
7. Ugh Chris’ confession of love felt like one of those kiddie haunted houses where they make you stick your hand in a bowl of grapes and tell you it’s eyeballs…it’s just wrong people…it’s just wrong.
8. K so a friend of a friend is friends with Jef (can that be any more vague) and okay I’m just torn because apparently he’s a total stuck up douchey douche in real life. And I just like him on tv. But then he goes and wears pimp daddio necklaces and I’m like….oh yeah I could definitely see him being a total sauce face, but then he goes and writes sweet letters and fondles his grease monkey hair and makes some witty joke and I’m like douche necklace what??? I FORGIVE YOU!!! The end.
9. Jef’s family is just so….dare I say….mormon. Their family is a bountiful number, the girls are ridunkulously gorgeous, and their parents are “committed to charity for two years” why oh why is nobody talking about the fact that Jef one f and his family are Mormon. Hello, people, throw the Mormon card into this party and I bet the show will get a ton more interesting. Just saying.
10. I shall now provide you with Mormon translation for everything Jef’s family said 1.“I totally believe you can fall in love really fast” Mormon translation: We all date for two months and then get married. 2.“So we’re just wondering if you’re values match up.” Mormon translation: Emily are you open to coming to church and getting baptized??!!
11. Jef has just written the letter that every woman in this entire world wants a boy to write for her, like WOAH, even if you’re a secret jerk, DANG YO, THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE.
12. Can we all agree that Aerie’s family speaking dutch was so stupid and rude. I kind of like Aerie less each date.
13. Aerie’s mom had a serious case of botox lips and leather skin. Emily this is what you have to look forward to in ten years if you keep tanning yourself to a state of oompa loompa orange. Sunscreen saves lives people!
14. That playhouse for the little girls is nicer than my house…no but really, and it’s kind of becoming an issue. Like friggin’ five year olds in Texas have nicer playhouses than my stupid apartment. Yeah, I’m not bitter or anything, whatever.
15. Okay I knew the whole Sean setup was a joke, perfectly bitten into cookie placed on the dresser…a plethora of stuffed animals just hanging out in the room. And who wouldn’t clean their room for Emily Maynard’s
teeth ponytail hot bod.
16. Snake eyes went home! Hoooray!!! All is right in the world again. But can I just say that Chris was totally one of those kids that threw a temper tantrum and always got what he wanted. But thank goodness it didn’t work this time“Waaaaaahhhh I want to be the winner.” Yeah well suck it snake eyes, now go buy yourself an upper lip. Sorry that was mean. But I just really wanted to say it, and well I have no self control, so there’s that. Oh and can I get a picture of those snake eyes up in here one more time?!
17. If we’re talking about the perfect match for Emily just based on history, family, culture, you know the important stuff Sean is your man. If we’re talking about the man that knows how to give Emily a proper saliva bath, Aerie’s the guy for her. If we’re talking about who can say the perfect things and crack a dang good joke, Jef one f is your guy. I’m just feeling really confused right now. I need a Jef one f letter to console me!
Guys, it's fantasy suite time next week. It's 'bout to get Maynard hoodrat cray cray up in here!
Jul 2, 2012
I found this dress at one of my favorite vintage stores in Salt Lake, usually I only go there just to look because the items can be kind of pricey. But I always make sure to rummage through this rack of unwearable clothes that are marked down A TON because they are either too worn down to wear or something is wrong with them. I found this dress with the sleeves ripped off and I immediately thought "I can fix that!!!Oooooh I can fix that!" The dress had been marked from $70 to $15 and it is straight up from the fifties you guys. You guys. Straight up from the fifties. So I found me some matching fabric and went to work on the sleeves. I know I tell you guys this all the time...but new favorite dress. Like I just cannot describe how me and this dress were meant to be.