1. How many episodes have started with a topless Sean? Oh that’s right. every.single.one. They brought the shirtlessness to a new level though, this time we got the treat of seeing Sean in his briefs from an awkward floor camera angle.At least we’ll never have to wonder boxers or briefs right?
2. Tierra is one of those girls that looks a hot mess without makeup. Hot mess.
I think the Bachelor house was painted in the 90’s, the forest green and lemon yellow just isn’t doing anyone any favors.
3. “All that people see when they see me is a beautiful face” “Can you handle all 110 lbs of me baby.” Oh you just had to slip your weight in that comment didn’t you Selma. We know you’re a tiny and hot you don’t have to be one of the girl that TALKS about how she’s hot and tiny, then you really are just a pretty face.
4. Selma lays on Sean like a needy cat. She just rubs her head all over his chest as then looks up at him like she’s ready for a good rub down.
5. “Of course he took the Iraqi to the dessert.” Okay, that was funny. Maybe I like this Selma.
6. We got to watch Sean stare at Selma’s butt for the entire climb up the mountain. Of course we’re all, “Oh how chivalrous for letting Selma go first!” Yeah right, he just wanted to stare at her butt for an hour without anyone judging.
7. Selma is too traditional to kiss Sean on the first date, but she’s definitely not shy to air their relationship on national tv. What a concept!
8. I’m sorry but it was just so cruel to make Sarah play roller derby, how did we think this was going to turn out?? Of course she doesn’t have great balance, she has one arm and she’s simultaneously being pushed by other girls on roller skates. Cruel ABC.
9. I might have shed a tear when AshLee was being Sarah’s cheerleader. I know her name is ridiculous, but I really like her.
10. BAAAHHAAAAA Amanda was so cocky about the fact that she was the best at roller derby, and then of course she’s the one that takes the spill. Oh how that haughty have so far to fall. I replayed that part where one second she’s bragging about threatening the girls with her mad skills and then the next she’s face down on the floor. Yeah I replayed it about six times.
11. The girls just couldn’t handle the roller derby….and so they reverted to the seventh grade and had a free skate!! We’re all winners on The Bachelor!!
12. “I just don’t like drama!!” –says every girl that loves drama. Watch out Sean, Tierra is cray cray! She totally manipulated him to get a rose.
13. Leslie’s signature saying is, “Holy moly batman.” Oh crap, any girl that still has coin sayings in their 30’s is one sandwich short of a picnic if you know what I’m sayin’
14. What celebrity does Leslie remind me of….I just can’t put my finger on it??
Here is all of your free stuff pretty woman, now can you pay for dinner by giving us a show!
15. Oh poor poor Leslie, being dumped is one thing but having to simultaneously give back 120 carat diamond necklace… that’s just too much for any woman to handle.
16. “Do you want this chocolate….or this chocolate” And the absolute worst line of the night goes to Robyn.
17. And broken jaw gets the boot! Thank goodness, now I don’t have to watch all of her poor wardrobe and lipstick choices!