Sheinside (buy it here) belt: thrifted shoes: Call It Spring
Last week I had midterms for my pattern design class and I had to design a dress and then make it and present it to my class. The night before as I was finishing up the dress I designed I was so proud of myself, I kept thinking, "I'm doing it! I'm desigining!" And then the next day as everyone presented their designs I kept sinking lower and lower in my chair knowing that my dress was NOTHING special compared to all of the other designs. I really started to get down on myself. My sister and I talked over some ice cream sundae midterm therapy later that day and as I was telling her how dumb I felt presenting my project compared to everyone else she stopped me mid sentence and told me,
Michelle: "Sarah, you realize this was the very first time you've ever designed anything right, a lot of these people have been doing this their whole lives. Did you work hard on your project?"
Me: "Well yeah."
Michelle: "Then be proud of what you did and stop comparing yourself, you just completed your first design! I mean you just learned how to sew a year and a half ago! Just keep pushing your limits and working hard!"
Oh the wisdom of my dear Me-Chelle. She was so right. I was so caught up in what everyone else was doing and comparing myself that I missed out on seeing the beauty in what I had accomplished for myself. Was it the best design in the class? Hells no. Was it perfectly executed? Hells no. But I'm so proud of my very first design, and that I'm doing hard things.
It can be so hard to learn new things, you feel vulnerable, and lacking ALL OF THE STINKING TIME. I can't tell you the amount of times that I call my teacher over to ask her some ridiculous question to which she looks at me like, "Have you ever even seen clothes before?!" But it's such a great lesson to learn, that when you work hard and throw yourself into your work, beautiful things can happen. I've learned that it's through the process of being vulnerable and mold-able that you learn who you really are.