Jun 2, 2013
How To Make Me Furious in .5 Seconds
The amount of times that I get hit by cars is ridunkulous. RI-DUNK-YOU-LUS. This weekend will make it THREE times this year. I don't know if a white honda civic is offensive, like maybe they think I'm a white supremacy car racist, or if me flipping people off makes them want to hit me (jk jk, I don't flip people off....all the time) but this is just way too much to handle. Anyways, let the third car story of this year begin. So the other night it was approximately 11:53 and my sis and I had a real hankerin' for a DQ cone. So like lightning I googled what time Dairy Queen closed and wham-bam-thankyou-man it closed at 12:00. A miracle! So we sprinted to the car and sped all the way to Dairy Queen and when we pulled up to the drive through there was already a line. So guys, we were thinking this was our lucky day and that we made it just in time. Finally, we were one car away from ordering when all of the lights in the store went out. Devastation. No chocolate cone would be dipped in a troth full of fudginess for me??? I could hardly come to terms with it. So I'm sitting behind this car, waiting for them to pull through when they reverse and back up straight into me....??? I just....was so pissed. I mean you can make me angry by not giving me a glorious fudge dipped cone, you can make me ready to fight to the death by denying me an ice cream cone and THEN hitting my car. The girl was obviously mortified by well...how dumb she was (sorry I call it like it is). And got out of the car and said, "It's been a really long night....I don't even know why I started reversing. Is your car okay??" I looked at it and said, "Oh you know I already had a hit and run with this car earlier this year so this is nothing really." Yeah okay I was being mean and sarcastic, but once again, no ice cream cone, so ya know. " She just kind of stared at me not knowing what to say until I said, "No harm done, this car is old and ready to die anyway. It's fine."
And that was it.
We both got back into our cars. Coneless and furious. And then I just sat there pondering how the ice cream was just sitting right inside waiting to make my sweaty hot furious car just a bit happier. And maybe if I just waited out here one more minute they'd bring my an ice cream cone out of pity.
But they didn't. Such is life. The end.