Pause. And some thoughts.

sweatshirt: JC Penney (similar)

 This sweatshirt tho guys. Heathered grey, baseball style. I had to have it. I couldn't find the exact original, it looks like it sold out pretty fast, but they have a very similar style up on their site that is adorable. And that's it my friends, now you can keep warm and look fantastic this winter.

But let's talk more, I'm not quite ready to let you go just yet. 

These photos are from a couple of weeks ago when I had a student photographer shadow me. It was a really fun experience to get to share the little tips and tricks I've picked up from my experience. But it was also a chance for me to be in front of the camera for once...which duh....does any blogger not like being in front of the camera.

But this was a little bit different because Joc and I just played and partied while she took pictures. Nothing special or fancy, we were both in normal everyday clothes, with sippy cup and blankie in hand. Those are always my favorite moments to capture though, the ones that show what relationships are really like, the ones that show intimate moments, nothing fancy or out of the ordinary just what me and my mini me do all day, play and discover new things.

I need a pause button for this time in my life. Like a physical pause button. I find myself slowing down lately and soaking up these moments because her stages are so fleeting. Right now she wants to discover, sass back to me and cuddle on repeat. Our days are the best, the ones I will look back on and wish for again someday. 

The newborn stage was ridiculously hard for me, I remember sobbing on repeat for no reason and living in a cloud of fog. I had no idea what I was doing, I had this really strange new body that I didn't appreciate yet and I felt like I wasn't even myself anymore. It honestly felt like I was trying to shed my skin or something.

But this. This stage, this part, is exactly what I thought motherhood would be. Where we hit our stride, have a simple but fun routine and we just enjoy each other. I feel so much fulfillment just by taking afternoon walks and cleaning up smashed up play dough, and it sounds so silly and frivilous but guys, I'm molding and shaping this human being now. I'm teaching respect, politeness and love. It can feel heavy, the grandious of it all but it really is so simple. It's tying shoes, it's filling milk cups, it's cuddles, it's teaching please and thank you.

I love it. I've never felt more like myself in my life.